The Day Cancer Ate My Blog Post

For November, Helene and I wanted to do a few weeks on praise and Thanksgiving.  When I was thinking of what to write, I wanted to go beyond thanking God for our blessings (a good thing to do) and speak about being thankful for our trials (a hard thing to do).  


I had several verses picked out to show that we are indeed supposed to be grateful for everything, including suffering. (Romans 5:3-5; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; James 1:2-4; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 if you are interested) It would have been a scripturally accurate blog post.  And it would have been sterile.  Empty.  I would have been speaking from the Bible with very little personal experience.  


However, since I began to think about being grateful for our trials, two close family members of mine have been struck with cancer.  

Struck.  That’s the right word.  It feels like a blow to them and to me.  It takes away my breath and leaves me hurting all over.  I’m supposed to be thankful for that?  

I don’t have deep thoughts to share with you today.  All I can share are my broken, imperfect prayers to a God who still loves me.  

Father, in the midst of my pain, I know you still love me.  I know you still love my family.  Cancer cannot take that away.  Thank you for your love.  God, I don’t want to be grateful for cancer.  I don’t want my loved ones to have it. I wish it didn’t exist, and I can’t imagine working myself up to being thankful for the disease itself.  I’m sorry.  But I know I can find some other things to be grateful to you for in this time.  

Thank you, Lord, that I have had these people in my life for so long.  Thank you for the influence they have been on my life and the inspiration they continue to be. 

Thank you for medical advances that will allow my family members to have a fighting chance at continued life in your service.  

Thank you for prayer. And thank you for all the people who love me who are praying for my loved ones because they love me.

Thank you for salvation, and for the knowledge that even if this life on earth ends, it is not the end of life.  I selfishly want my family close by as long as you will let them stay, Lord, but I also know that even if they leave this earth, I will see them again one day in a place where cancer will not exist. 

Thank you for your Word, and for the comfort it gives me in times of trial.  

Thank you for drawing me closer to you during times of suffering. I know my prayers are stronger and my reading of the Bible more than routine now. If I could take away all the pain right now, I would.  I don’t want it, but there is a part of me that knows that at some point I will be able to look back at this season of tribulation and know that it deepened my character.

Lord, maybe someday I will look back on this and see more good that has come from cancer.  Maybe I will be able to comfort someone else going through a similar trial.  Maybe our family will be even closer than it is now.  Maybe a lost soul will come to you.  Right now, though, all I really want is for them to be healed.  In the meantime, I will trust you because I know you still love them just like you love me.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Melissa