Should I be having sex?

Should I be having sex?  

No.  If you are single, sisters, the answer is simply “No.”  

No, if you are in your teens and your health teachers explain that abstinence is an unhealthy, old-fashioned, unrealistic idea. 

No, if you are in your 20s and engaged or considering moving in with your boyfriend.

No, if you are in your 30 or 40s and still single or single again.

No, if you are 50s or 60s or older and left alone by a spouse's death.  

To the unmarried God simply says, “No.”

(If this list doesn’t apply to you, sweet sister, because you are married, I really encourage you to go read the YES! side of this post written by my friend Angela at the Dilligent Woman.)

'Twas the Day after Easter

'Twas the day after Easter and the plastic grass is semi-glued to the candy.  Halves of plastic eggs are lurking in the yard ready to pulverize bare feet and become shrapnel for the push mower. Tummy aches and leftover sugar highs are making parents more miserable than the kids.  Tiny suits and dresses hang in closest and photos are sent out to develop.

'Twas the day after Easter and millions of people brim with the joy of the Lord.  They rejoice in the love of Christ's sacrifice, they revel in the morning arrival at the tomb; they shout with the millions on high, "He is risen! Christ is risen indeed!"  But Monday has arrived.  Spring break is over and it's time to go back to work, back to school.  It's time to return to the mundane and leave our spiritual high behind. 

Saving the World One Tamale at a Time

Do I look like a super-hero?  

Nope. 

I am a quite ordinary stay-at-home mom and blogger.  We're a dime a dozen.  It's the best disguise since the mild-mannered reporter.  


But let me tell you how I am saving the world one tamale at a time.

To Speak or Not to Speak: A Social Media Rubric

When we lived abroad, I lived an entirely apolitical life.  I had no opportunity (nor desire) to speak about the politics of our host country and no need to think about the politics half a world away in America.  But since we have been back, (especially this last 12 months) it seems to be the only topic of conversation.  I have been thinking about it a lot and finally came up with these 6 passages to help me sort out how to deal with these conversations and my own responsibility.

Sister, Value Yourself

My sweet sister, value yourself.  

Women have been at the forefront of the news.  Not only because of the rise of LGBT, the resurgence of the "reproductive rights", and the recent Women's march but because so many women young and old feel devalued.

It's no wonder we feel devalued.  We have sold the truth for a lie (Proverbs 23:23).  

Women are devalued when they are exploited, taught that they are only valuable as sexual objects.  It happens when women read porn; it happens when women become porn.  It happens when women believe (and so dress) as if their boobs were more valuable than their brains.  You think women's education is disrupted by enforcing a dress code?  I think girls struggle to receive an education when our society and their parents have encouraged them to think of themselves as 16 year old sex objects instead of 16 year old scholars. The lie: A woman's value lies in her attractiveness.  The truth: Women are intrinsically valuable-humans made in the image of God.

Women are devalued when they believe that they are victims, constantly attacked and belittled so they should take up arms and militantly defend their rights.  The women of God, like the men of God are meek.  We are spiritual warriors, mighty in prayer.  When we suffer in the world, our Father takes up our cause.  The lie: Men and the paternalistic society are our enemies and we must fight even harder for our rights.  The truth: Women are often mistreated in the this world.  Yet the women of God seek justice at the throne of God and stand in peace for those who are mistreated, brother and sister alike. 

Women are devalued when they categorize themselves.  To the single some mutter, "Why can't you find a man?  Without a family you are nothing." To the married others mutter "The man you married has made you barefoot and pregnant, a servant in your own house." Women are never nothing.  Each one has the potential to become a daughter of the King, priests of our God, holy, mighty in prayer.  We are not only the nurturers of life, we can bring people to new life.  The lie: Our worth is found in our marriage or in our career.  The truth: Whether we are in the workplace, in our home or out having fun, we are all servants in God's house.  Checking the box, "married" or "single" will never be as important as serving Him well. 

Women devalue themselves by choosing lie over truth.

Let me tell you the truth, sisters.  You are of immense value.  Your Father adores you and wants you to becoming everything you can be.  But that "everything" isn't skinny, or curvy, married or single or any other category that the world trumpets.  God's everything is holy, self-controlled, peaceful, meek, powerful and gentle.   God's everything reflects His character and is empowered by His Spirit.  The truth will set you free from the world's expectations and bring you into your Father's light. 

So let me beg you sisters, value yourself because the Father values you.  

  

The Source of Conflict

4 year old Adrian spies a shiny red fire truck in his playmate’s hand.  After a quick glance over his shoulder to locate the nearby adults, he pinches his friend, hard.  Squalling, the other child wallops Adrian over the head with the truck leaving behind not only a red welt but an indignantly wailing Adrian.  

Jesus: Lord

Do you remember this little ditty from the sixties?

You don't own me

I'm not just one of your many toys

You don't own me

Don't say I can't go with other boys

And don't tell me what to do

Don't tell me what to say

And please, when I go out with you

Don't put me on display 'cause

You don't own me

In our society, we don't like the idea of being owned.  Maybe it's reminds us of the horrors of slavery or the days when women were treated as commodities rather than people.  Maybe it's just because we like to be independent.  Even our slang words reveal that the thought that we belong to anybody but ourselves is uncomfortable.  If someone loses a game, we say, "You got owned." 

The Snooze Button

This morning my alarm went off.  I hit the snooze once.  It went off again.  I thought I should get up and read my Bible.  Then I thought again.  Snoozing some more sounds much better, or I could play my iPad some before I get up.  

Just as I was reaching for the iPad for one of these more appealing sounding options, James 4:17 came to mind: "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." Ouch.  I got up, got my  iPad out and read James 4.

A Tale of Two Sins

I told you that I discovered Stuart Briscoe on the local Bible radio station.  Since then, I have bought one of his books, Holiness Without the Halo, and listened to several of his Telling the Truth podcasts.  In them, he uses Scripture to tackle the topic of sin and how to defeat it with remarkable grace.  

Sin is something we struggle with every day, and it isn't always the "obvious" sins that give me the most trouble. In the book, Mr. Briscoe talks about two lifestyles of sin that seem opposite at first.  In his discussion of Paul's letter to the Galatians and our freedom in Christ, he addresses legalism and licentiousness.  

The Pawn Shop

Imagine strolling into a pawn shop. The bell rings as the door opens.  You're struck with the masculine smell of oil and gun grease. Overhead you see things too big to sit on shelves strung from the ceiling: canoe paddles, a bicycle... On the shelves lurk abandoned books, knick-knacks, and depression era glass.  Glancing at the glass counter you see the reflection of wedding rings, the picture of desperation and betrayal.  

Then to your surprise you see a sticker. Peering about you notice lots of big yellow stickers with one word, "Redeemed."  Someone wanted this one back, someone paid back all the money that it was sold for and then some.  Someone thought it was valuable, desirable and precious.  It's no longer for sale.  It may be sitting here, but it's not destined for the pawn shop.  It's redeemed.

The Grace of Spiritual Gifts

At the congregation I attended in Alabama, there was a wonderful and hardworking family.  Ashley, Emily and their mother Martha were almost never seen in an adult Bible class.  While most of us teachers looked forward to our quarter off, these ladies happily taught all ages of the preschool wing each and every quarter.  They developed curriculum; they bought supplies; they taught our children with infinite patience, smiles on their faces, and obvious love in their hearts.  Teaching was their gift, and they were diligent in using it for God's glory and the building up of the church.  

Black Thumb

I have a black thumb.  The list of plants I have killed is so long, it's almost comical.  My cactus withered up and died.  I've planted basil at least four times, and it always shrivels.  I'd like to say that I just don't have the knack for being a gardener, but that would be dodging the truth.  The real reason I'm a plant killer is that I don't give them the nourishment they need.  If they had adequate water and soil nutrients, I'm sure my plants would still be alive today.

Our Powerful Prayers

Would you be excited if I told you that there were prayers you could pray and be 100% guaranteed that God would say yes?  

Would you be less excited if I told you the lottery is 100% not on the list?

Last week we talked about Solomon, Jehoshaphat, and Nehemiah all of whom prayed with power for God's aid.  Solomon prayed that God would uphold the line of David (as he promised).  Jehoshaphat prayed that God would hear his prayer from in front of his sanctuary (as he promised) and rescue them.  Nehemiah prayed that God would rescue, regather and restore the people to their land (as he promised).  All of these prayers were heard and answered.  Why?  Because they were prayed inside the will of God.

God Gave the Increase

When my daughters were babies, I dreaded going to the pediatrician.  Neither one of them grew as fast as the doctors thought they should.  Both of them hovered just over the line of the dreaded "failure to thrive" diagnosis.  As much as I told myself that they were growing at their own pace, I still got scared when I saw their little dot at the bottom of (or below) the line for normal growth.  I was doing all the right things for them to put on the ounces, but in the end, I was not in control of their growth.  When I learned to leave the growth up to God and just do my job of feeding them, I was a much happier mommy.

I Have Sinned

In the past year, a remarkable change has happened in my life.  I've told you about my short temper. Outbursts of anger, so condemned in Scripture (Galatians 5:21), used to be a daily part of my life.  For the most part, I didn't think too much about it.  After all, it was other people's actions that were making me angry. The guy who cut me off in traffic, the child who would not obey, the husband who left socks on the floor again were really the ones to blame.  The result was that the anger persisted, poisoning my relationships and stunting my growth in Christ.  I needed to confess.

Spiritual Disciplines

Living abroad has given me a different view of our freedom in Christ.  I can't help but think that part of the reason that God gave us such immense freedom (inside of his commands and principles) is that he knew that different cultures, languages, times and people would have such powerfully different expressions of his truth.  

The Crazy Sermon

Since I read Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love," (read the post here) obedience has been much on my mind.  In the first chapter he challenges readers to imagine how their lives would be different if they took Jesus's words seriously.  So as I read Matthew, the Sermon on the Mount pummeled me.  All day I've been asking myself to imagine that I wanted to obey Jesus' words.  Not make excuses, not explain away the hard sayings but really genuinely try to obey.  It's not going so well.

How Does God Work in the World Today?

How does God work in the world today?  People have very different opinions about this.  Of course the nonbeliever says He doesn't work at all, but even within the faith community there is tremendous variance to this question.  

Following Jesus in Baptism

I read every comment on this blog.  Melissa does too. To be fair, however, they don't usually change the way I think about some major theological issue. One day though it did.  Shannon Morris, Melissa's mom, made a comment here that inspired this entire series and changed the way I think about obedience. The phrase she used was, "Follow Jesus in baptism."

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

As a mom, I know that I have two ways of teaching my children to make good choices.  I teach them by what I say and by what I do.  I also know that my kids follow my example more than they follow my words.  I think that is one reason that Jesus came to earth.   He knew we needed a perfect example we could follow, someone who would not say, "Do as I say, not as I do."  Jesus taught as he lived, and we can often find examples of his teachings that were exemplified in his life.  The question I have always wondered is, "How was he able to be perfect?"