Defeating Fear!

Bats.

Witches.

Skeletons.

Halloween celebrates fear.

Terrorists.

Natural Disasters.

Nuclear War.

The media peddles fear.

What are Christians supposed to do?

Maggie, Aretha and Kyla-Marriages in conflict over God

Let's imagine an ordinary Monday...

You wake up with a beautiful idea, a plan, a conviction from God. And you are ready to get started.  But then you remember that the last time you had one of these brilliant ideas your husband squashed you like a bug.  He hasn't even woken up and you can feel your resentment building.  You start flipping bacon and by the time he stumbles towards his morning cup of joe, your mood has turned bitter.  You've  already had the argument with him in your head, so why say anything at all!

Is that your story? 

When I wrote last week's post about what to do when you feel your husband isn't on board with your desire to serve God, I had lots of great conversation on Facebook, on the blog and in person. These talks taught me that this is even more difficult and controversial a topic than I imagined.  

How do I obey God when my husband isn't on board?

“How do I obey God when my husband isn’t on board?”

Even through the computer I could hear the despair in her voice.  I’ve been in “women’s ministry” a very long time, basically the whole of my adult life and it’s a question I’ve heard before.  I’ve heard it whispered as a woman of God told a hard truth about her husband.  I’ve heard it wailed as an angry woman complained about a godly man that she couldn’t get to do what she wanted.  I’ve heard a baby Christian wonder out loud how she is supposed to implement what she is learning in her non-Christian home. 

Some Bible questions are easy to answer (Does God love you? Yes.  No matter your situation the answer is always yes.) but some like this one are thorny.  I can’t begin to help a woman come to an answer without knowing her, her situation, and her husband.  And dear reader, as much as I think about you and pray for you, I don’t KNOW you.  But we can talk about some principles straight from God’s word so you can apply them to your own relationship with God and your husband.

Should I be having sex?

Should I be having sex?  

No.  If you are single, sisters, the answer is simply “No.”  

No, if you are in your teens and your health teachers explain that abstinence is an unhealthy, old-fashioned, unrealistic idea. 

No, if you are in your 20s and engaged or considering moving in with your boyfriend.

No, if you are in your 30 or 40s and still single or single again.

No, if you are 50s or 60s or older and left alone by a spouse's death.  

To the unmarried God simply says, “No.”

(If this list doesn’t apply to you, sweet sister, because you are married, I really encourage you to go read the YES! side of this post written by my friend Angela at the Dilligent Woman.)

That time I was expecting...

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, I was the size of a land barge.  At 6 months pregnant, strangers would stop me on the street and ask me when I was due, true story.  When I told them that it would be 3 more months, they'd say, "3 more months!  Are you SURE its not twins!"

It was disheartening.  

Recently I discovered that publishing a book is kinda like that.  

At first I didn't want to tell anyone.  I was a little embarrassed and very afraid that I wasn't good enough or the idea wasn't good enough or the book wasn't good enough.  Are you sensing a theme?  And just like when we were having a baby, my husband was proud as punch and wanted to tell EVERYONE.

And gestating a book is hard work.  It is absorbing and for a little while everything else fades into a weird blur.  Finally 3 or 4 months in you come out of your haze and begin to see the world clearly again. 

Then comes the wait.  Will the book be published?  When will the book be published?  What should you call it? (Women of Action went so long without a name that if it had been a real baby, it would have been child abuse.)  What will it look like?  What should we do to get ready?
Everyone you know starts to say things like, "Hasn't that book been published yet?!"  "Aren't you ever going to get that book?"

Then finally the big day arrives.  You feel all happy and satisfied.  Unfortunately, you did not anticipate the fact that having a book is all consuming.  Every waking hour (and some hours that are positively unholy) you're writing content, sending emails, addressing envelopes, and trying to figure out the Wyoming tax code.  

Suddenly it's all over.  And your baby is all grown up and off into the world for everyone to look at and blame or praise you for its problems.  

See just like a baby!  

Well, ladies, this mama of two beautiful girls and one little book is off to take a shower and maybe a nap.  You enjoy these last 2 days of launch week.  Remember all the bonuses end tomorrow at midnight so if you wanted to order do it soon! 

                                                                       

Frequently Asked Questions

Orders

Why 12.99?  

That's easy.  It's the price that the publisher set.  I am under contract to sell at the same price!

Is there a class discount?  

Yes!  At 15 books the price drops to $11.09  per book and at 25 the price drops to $10.39.  And don't forget until October 6th there are a couple of special bonuses for teachers who are purchasing for a class. 

I didn't get my bonuses?  Where are they?

Step 1: Check your promotions and spam tags.  If your email doesn't recognize mine sometimes things get misdirected!
Step 2: Email me.  I will send them to you another way if you can't find them!  I really don't want you to miss out!

How can I buy? 

Women of Action:

Wait isn't this a ladies Bible class book?  Why would I buy it as an individual?  

I love this question!  For several reasons, one because you study on your own.  Each lesson half of the questions are set for individuals.  Second because as lovely as a ladies Bible class is not everyone is able to attend one!  Maybe you teach a Wednesday night 4th grade class, are homebound, your church doesn't have one or it's on Tuesdays and you have to work!  Studying when YOU can matters! Finally, presents.  Christmas is coming and I know that there are women in your life you'd like to encourage!  This would be an excellent spiritual gift!

Would this be an appropriate book for a teenage girls class?

I think its a perfect book for teenage girls in their own class or with older women. I am a big proponent of bringing your teenager girls INTO your ladies Bible class if at all possible so they can be discipled by the older women. With the possible exception of the lesson called, "Single, Married and Single Again", there is nothing remotely inappropriate for teenagers.  Even that lesson doesn't begin to be as explicit as my daughter's Freshman Health class. Yikes!  

Why is it a perfect book? Well, little kids learn to read their Bibles as a story book.  Young teens learn to read their Bibles as a rule book, what they should and shouldn't do.  Older teens need to learn to read their Bibles in a whole new way.  They need to see the magnificent self-revelation of God and learn to love Him with all their hearts, souls, strength and mind and they need to see how His word is relevant to every aspect of their lives and their behavior.

Would this be a good book for someone who is elderly or homebound?

I hope so.  I can see that by the title you might think that this book would only be for folks who had the strength and health to "work for the Lord."  But in fact it's about changing our hearts so that the word of God is applied to every aspect of our lives.  Every Christian can benefit from this message.  I hope that the questions will encourage everyone to stretch not to frantic activity but to careful application to their own situation with its blessings and limitations. 

Questions from the Heart

I would really like to apply some of these things but my husband is not on board...

You know what? The secret is to find ways to obey God in our challenging situations.  But I don't want to get into that right now.  I promise I am about to write an ENTIRE post about this.  For every sister out there who has in her mind this ardent desire to serve God yet finds herself sidelined because her husband has other plans, hang on.  We are going to talk about it, I promise. 

Does this book address motivation?  It's where I struggle the most.

Me too.  In fact, that's kind of why I wrote the book.  I want to be transformed. I want to live for God wholeheartedly every day but some days I forget and think that I want to be a couch potato who eats doughnuts and reads her book, a big ole' baby who gets to pout when her plans are changed or a whiner instead of a powerful warrior in prayer.  We all sometimes let that old man, that person with a heart of stone (Ezekiel 36:26) peak through. To answer specifically the two chapters at the beginning and the chapters entitled "Sin in the Life of a Christian"and "New Creatures" address the topic of what motivates us.  And each chapter tries to find the deep motivation of loving God at the heart of all our obedience to Him. 

Do's and Don'ts of Ladies Bible class

I have cried, prayed, been convicted and been gathered in when I was altogether lost. Where?  At a revival?  A gospel meeting?  Some fantastic internet sermon?  Nope.  Ladies' Bible Class. 

I love ladies' Bible class.  I have been a member or a teacher of a class ever since I was an adult. Amazing things happen there.  I have seen women drawn to Christ simply by the fellowship.  I have seen marriages turned around as sisters gathered together to learn how to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). 

Not only that, but I feel that these "Ladies' Bible classes" are an application of Paul's words in Titus 2.  Women are commanded to teach each other-older to the younger.  It's how we learn how to do what we should like love our kids and our husbands, keep our houses to the glory of God, and be kind, sensible and good.  

But how can we have that amazing class?  The kind where we are convicted, repent and are transformed? Let me offer you some "do's" and "don'ts."

Do's

Do be honest.  We've written about honesty before, and the way one person's truth encourages others not only to confess but to feel less alone.  (Truth be told, Truth be told 2) 

Do have a confidential class.  Wednesday night's confession can not be Thursday morning's gossip.

Do study the Bible.  I am not against study books (I have one on sale right now, with a very special bonus just for teachers!).  But no book replaces the Word of God.  Every student needs a Bible open and in use.  Nothing I have to say, nothing any author has to say, trumps the word of God.

Do prepare.  The class will be better if even a few of the members will read ahead.  Make sure you have read the scripture, note down any questions you have, take a few minutes to pray that day for your teacher/class and fill your mind with the Word of God.

Do be open.  Close-knit classes are hard to break into.  Every class needs someone to wave newcomers to an empty seat, find them a Bible, smile and introduce them to others, and welcome them to come back again.  

Do be integrated.  Although our churches have followed our culture by segregating people by age-youth group, young professionals, parents, golden agers etc, women especially need the connection of women older and younger than them. 

Do speak carefully.  "Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person," wrote Paul (Colossians 4:6).  He could have been writing to us.  We need to think carefully and speak gently.  This is especially true when sisters have some painful area of their lives (divorce, infidelity, infertility, grief etc) or if we have to correct or confront a sister. 

Don'ts

Don't be negative.  The class must be free from husband-bashing, griping about the elders, running down the minister or general gossip.  Remember Jesus' admonition to deal with problems personally and face to face.

Don't neglect the chance to serve.  I have seen ladies Bible classes do amazing things: send cards, arrange for the care of a widow while her daughter was out of town, send cloth diapers to a missionary with a new baby, and build a church building in South America. Let study naturally flow to action.

Don't forget to pray.  Although I have seen classes devolve into a half hour of chatting and 5 minutes of prayer before the bell rings, I still feel prayer is a crucial part of the process of Ladies' Bible class.  For one thing it is the only opportunity most women have to pray with and for their sisters each week.  For another, it is a private and confidential place to beg for intercession.  

Don't be divided.  Women fall prey to Satan's divide and conquer scheme. We allow competition and envy to defeat us.  We judge each other on issues unrelated to our faith   or even worse entirely related to our Christian freedom.  Satan wins when sisters don't stick together. 

If you are a part of an amazing class, I can't wait to hear all about it!  Tell me what your class is doing, how they are changing, and what they are studying!

Helene

PS  If you are looking for new material for next quarter, or if you feel like your class just needs a reboot, I want to help.  Click here to get to my videos introducing Women of Action:Transformed by Obedience.