I never really understood Jonah. Why would he want all the people of Nineveh to be destroyed? I have an academic knowledge of what the Assyrians were like, with their ruthless conquering, but I didn't feel like that was reason enough to want the wrath of God vented on the whole city. I sneered when Jonah whined at the people's salvation, and I cheered when they repented. Even now, when I look at the sin around me, I pray for the redemption of the sinner rather than their punishment. I rejoice to know that Jeffrey Dahmer was baptized before he died. I wish Adam Lanza had not died because he lost his chance.
I never understood Jonah's heart until today. I don't know what possessed me to read some of grand jury testimony in the Kermit Gosnell case. I wish I hadn't. I don't recommend that you do. Suffice it to say that what he did to those late term babies and their mothers in his abortion clinic eclipses any horror I ever imagined. One article even had pictures. I will never be the same.
I found myself echoing the saints in Revelation. "How long will you refrain from avenging?" I said, even as tears fell down my face (Revelation 6:10). How can we live in a world where these kinds of atrocities happen? Academically, I know all the answers. God is self-limiting. We live in world torn apart by sin. The very creation groans in longing for Christ's return (Romans 8:22). He will return, and He will avenge. But when I read stories like this, I have to work hard to keep from despair. How long can I stand to live in this sin sick world?
I also have to confess. I understand Jonah now. If God told me today to go and share the gospel with Gosnell, I'd run. I'd say the words I sneered at Jonah for saying, " I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity" (Jonah 4:2). If I shared Jesus's love with this man, he might repent. He might have those horrible sins washed away. My own black and sinful heart doesn't want that; it says hell is too good for such a man.
And that is why I need Jesus. On my own, I'm sinful, selfish, and vengeful. I'm praying now for a heart that wants ALL men to come to salvation. Jesus died because he had that kind of heart. I thought I had it. I was wrong.
Melissa
Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE(R), Copyright(c) 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
I wrote this post last week, and Helene and I agree to put it up today before we knew what would unfold in Boston yesterday. I considered putting this on hold, but I realized that it is still timely. The person or people who made and planted those bombs also need salvation. Do we want them to find it? ~Melissa
No comments:
Post a Comment