Communers not Consumers: 6 Ways to Build Community in your Church

What do you want in a church?  A strong youth program, a fantastic minister, visionary elders, lots for your kids to do?  

Would you trade all of that for community?  You know a church where everyone knows you, not your mask but the real you, and loves you anyway?  A place where you are integral, where you are missed, where you are needed?  A place where you know everyone.  Their hurts are yours, their joys are your, their children are like your own nieces, nephews, grandkids.  No, if you had that, you'd be a part of that church for the rest of your life. 

If we are not careful, we become consumers of church instead of communers at church.  We can see church in an individualistic way that evaluates the group on what it can give me. Or we can see our congregation in a communal way which asks: "What do I have to offer this group of people? How can I be a part, take part, become a part?"  And if we are consumers, we will have missed out on God's plan to be a people called out from the larger neighborhood to be a family.  

My husband has been teaching through 1 Corinthians and we recently ran across 1 Corinthians 12:15-18.  

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 
(1 Corinthians 12:15)

But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 
(1 Corinthians 12:18)

This concept that we are all one body, all placed in our church by God, all rejoicing together or all suffering together is something we long for without knowing how to achieve.  But the solution, sisters, is not to go out and find that church.  That is consumer thinking again.  We need to BUILD those churches.  That is the way communers think.  

But how?  I'd like to offer you 6 suggestions today.

1. Texts of Encouragement-basically this strategy calls on us to take our bulletin home and not only pray for the people in our congregation who are having a hard time one by one but to connect with them through text.  Click through to the original post for more details.  This accomplishes two things. First it builds up our congregation in prayer.  Second it connects the text-er to the needs and worries of the rest of the congregation.

2. Play together-It's a sunny spring day and you are headed to the park with your kids, what is stopping you from texting all the moms from your kids' Sunday School classes to see if any of them want to go too?  You are going hiking, could you invite your small group?  Our congregation enjoys picnic potlucks in the parks in the summer, and we've played kickball after Wednesday night church.  It doesn't have to be a production, but if you are going to play why not play together?

3. Work together-If you long to be a part of warm, loving, connected congregation, there will be work to do.  In the spring there are weeds to pull, flowers to plant, signs to paint.  Cleaning, organizing and preparing materials for Sunday School are necessary evils.  That's not to mention work outside the grounds like helping the widowed, visiting the shut-in, taking food to the bereaved, and child-care.  Many of these tasks could be accomplished with another member of your congregation instead of alone! Shared work builds bridges between people!

4. Stop saying you're "fine."  There is no building community with our brothers and sisters while we are still in hiding.  No one is "fine" all the time.  Let's be people who are painfully, confessionally honest. Telling others our troubles will let them be brave and tell us theirs. This works for our most ordinary troubles (pregnancy, potty training, pill boxes) and our most shameful sins (pornography).  

5. Include everyone.  Extroverts find community easier to build and easier to deal with than introverts but they need it no less badly.  Be sure that you value the 50% of the population are going to prioritize the quiet and deep relationships that strengthen our church. 

6. Stick your foot out.  Do you remember in the upper room when Jesus wanted to wash Peter's feet?  Peter was very hesitant.  He served not got served-especially not by his teacher!  Often the kind of people who are drawn to read an article like this are people who are longing to build bridges are leaders and servants.  Like Peter they don't think of themselves as people who need served.  But we don't have true community until we are interdependent. Don't be Peter!  Be as willing to be served as to serve!

If you want to be connected, loving and beloved, a real part of things, it's up to you to take the first steps.  Become a communer instead of a consumer.  And as you are linked to the people around you with chains of love and respect, your whole congregation will be morphed into just the thing you wanted anyway.  Family.

SaveSave