Patience Matters

Devotional 7 focuses on patience.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!






Patience Matters

To Do: With only two lessons after this, the kids should be very close to having the verses down pat.  If they are ready, encourage to share them their memory work and their favorite lesson with a grandparent or a Sunday School teacher.  Feeling the approval and encouragement of other adult Christians is crucial to a child's continued spiritual development.  Even if the verses are memorized continue to recite them as a reminder.


Questions to Ask:

When do you have to wait?  Answers might include-the bus, when mom is shopping, after church, at the doctor's, and for Christmas. Be sure and help your child identify times when patience is very difficult for them, for instance when a parent is on the phone, when they are waiting on their turn, and when they are tempted to interrupt.

Is it hard to wait?  Why?  Waiting is even harder for kids than it is for adults.  They have less of a sense of the way time passes and little experience with the fact that all waiting eventually comes to a end.  Learning to wait is in part developmental, in part training, and in part a spiritual exercise in patience.

What does it mean to be patient? Is the only time we have to be patient when we wait?  Other examples of extending patience include being patient with a younger sibling/cousin and being patient with peers at play or in class, being patient with adults who sometimes have difficulty understanding or relating. 

Who is patient with you?  Who is impatient?  As parents we are often loathe to ask our kids questions that reflect on our parenting.  Yet from this our children learn that parents are worthy of respect even when they make mistakes and they see how to be humble, repent, and accept correction.  

How is God patient with us? As adults we may understand this complexly but children may confused. Remind them that God is angry when people hurt each other but He waits and gives us a chance to repent.  Another tack would be to remind them of the story of Adam and Eve.  Although they deserved immediate death, God allowed their punishment to be delayed many years so they could establish the human race.


Insights:

When James calls us all to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, he is illustrating patience (James 1:19). He knows that having this kind of self-control not only over our tongue and ears but over our hearts is the essence of patience. Yet note these verses do not say, "Well, they're just little.  There's nothing you can do.  Kid's will be kids."  Especially in the training of our children, we have to be patient but active.  Listening carefully is crucial, however after we listen we need to discipline.  Considering our words is vital, but we must speak and correct our children.  We should be slow to become angry, yet children need us to pay attention and adjust their behavior so they can grow healthy, happy and strong.

When we consider "patience" as a virtue, we most often ask: Are we patient with our children? Yet our children also observe our patience or lack of patience with others.  For instance how do we drive?  With grace and etiquette or do we shout and snarl at those around us?  How do we wait in line?  What do they see when we are inconvenienced or slowed by those around us?  Our behavior informs their's.

Impatience is a sign not only of a lack of self-control but of self-absorption.  We are impatient because deep inside we believe we are the most important thing going!


Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Gentleness Matters

Devotional 6 focuses on gentleness.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Gentleness Matters

To Do:

Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say the verses aloud once or twice. If you and the kids aren't getting close to being able to say the verses, try saying them twice a day, just before bed, or every time you get in the car.  Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to Ask: 

Is gentleness just for little girls?  Who needs to be gentle and when?  Whether you have boys or girls doing devotionals with you this is a very important time to make it clear that gentleness is not a feminine characteristic but a robustly human characteristic.  Gentleness (in the sense of physically being delicate, exacting, and precise) is needed in many professions: welders, golfers, surgeons, pediatricians, scientists, computer engineers, clock makers, archaeologists, chefs, florists, carpenters, veterinarians  and mechanics. This is a good time if the kids know what they want to be when they grow up to ask them and how gentleness might play a part.

Was Jesus gentle?  Who else is told to be gentle?  Of course Jesus was gentle when he called the little children to come to Him but don't forget that He is also described as gentle (Matthew 11:29, 2 Corinthians 10:1). Who else? 

         Timothy (1 Timothy 6:11)
         God's approved workman ( 2 Timothy 2:25)   
         Women  (1 Peter 3:4 )
         All believers (Titus 3:1-2) 
         Elders/Overseers/Bishops (1 Timothy 3:2-3)

You won't need an exhaustive list but take a moment and make it plain to the kids that the wise (James  3:13) and pleasing disciple is a gentle person.  

Who in your life is gentle with you?  Who are you gentle with?  When are you tempted to be rough and not gentle?  Is it wrong to "roughhouse?"  Kids need to know the difference between the joyful, harmless rough and ready play that they need and enjoy and the kind of "play" that is careless, rough, thoughtless and causes harm.  One way to help them sort it out is with role play.  Have them imagine good and bad scenarios where they could be "rough." For instance the difference in running a little kid over during tag and a full-contact football game.

Insights: 

We live in a confused world.  Our society can not make up its mind about gender.  Scientists define gender with DNA.  Feminists insist that gender is a societal construct (in other words something imaginary that our society imposes on us from the outside).  And from exposure to our society's sexual sin, many have gained the impression that gender is fluid.  

When you put these things in a bag and shake them, what comes out is true disorientation.  Boys especially are pushed more and more into rigid boxes of masculinity that don't include virtues that are powerfully godly.  Anger is allowed but sorrow is not.  Excess is allowed but chivalry is not.  Stoicism is allowed but gentleness is not. 

It is important as you discuss things with your kids, male and female, that you present them with a throughly Christian worldview of gender.  For instance, Jesus and David are both pictured as shepherds-rough outdoor work.  Yet both of them wept.  Strength is not always stoic.  They are pictured as both caring for the little lambs and strong and brave to fight off the lions.  They are flourishing, thriving men.  Abigail, Lydia, Mary and Martha, and the Proverbs 31 woman provide a picture of the complexities of being female.  They are hard-workers, skilled in many crafts and business; they work inside and outside their homes, are married and single, and specifically in Mary and Martha's case are honored disciples!

God created gender.  It is in our DNA and we have God-given roles to fulfill.  But we must not let anyone in or out of the church simplify gender to a shadow of what God ordained.    

Did you miss one? 


The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Humility Matters

Devotional 5 focuses on a topic that is hard for adults to comprehend: humility.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents, your notes are in italics.  Happy studying! 

Humility Matters 

To Do: Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say the verses aloud once or twice. If you've been doing these steadily, you should be getting close to being able to say the verses with some prompting. Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to Ask: 

*What does it mean to be humble? Be sure and read the dictionary definition aloud after the kids have a chance to brainstorm. Rick Warren and C.S. Lewis both have thoughts on the topic worth exploring.  

* If humility  is the opposite of pride, how was Jesus humble? Direct the kids to first think of the reasons Jesus could have had pride.  This will lead them to see how He went in an opposite direction.  Answers could include: He could have had pride in being God or in how much He knew, or in having God's favor, but instead he was born in a stable, submitted to His parents, and resisted the devil's urges to be prideful (Luke 1-4).  Be sure and take a moment to look up any stories that they don't remember the details of. 

*What do you have that you might be prideful about?  Recognize here that our real gifts are also real temptations to pride.  Answers will be individual to the child but might include being good at a sport, being smart, being pretty/handsome, having lots of friends, nice things/toys.

*What does it mean to be humble when we are victorious?  How is that like/not like being a good sport? Is it wrong to want to win?

*How can an adult be humble?  How can a child?    Take this time to talk to your kids about how you show humility in your daily life.  Be sure and give them room to think about how they can. Be sure and encourage them to think about themselves rather than simply criticizing others.  

Insights:

Humility vs. pride is one of the many places where English fails us.  There is everything good about being responsible for excellence, i.e. "taking pride in a job”. It's good when parents feel joy in their children's growth and maturity, it.e. they are "proud of their kids." And pleasure in completing a challenging job?  That harmless joy is often called, "being proud of myself." These phrases and others uses the word "pride" or "proud" when in fact nothing sinful is meant. 

This truth though should not hide from our eyes the fact that pride is a real and present danger to our souls.  We cannot think we are better than any other saint or sinner.  We cannot imagine that in ourselves we are worthy of respect or honor.  We mustn't insist on the best or think ourselves above some simple job.  Our Savior shows the way here. 

Who, although He existed in the form of God, 

did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 

but emptied Himself,

taking the form of a bond-servant, 

and being made in the likeness of men. 

Being found in appearance as a man, 

He humbled Himself 

by becoming obedient to the point of death, 

even death on a cross. 

Philippians 2:6-8

Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Kindness Matters

Devotional 4 focuses on one of the most difficult commands to fully apply in the Bible: Be Kind.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Kindness Matters 

To Do:

Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say the verses aloud once or twice. If you've been doing these steadily, you should be getting close to being able to say the verses with some prompting. Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to Ask: 

*What does it mean to be kind? The answer that will come to a kid's minds is to be nice.  Try to help them dig a little deeper and see that we can be kind even when we are not "nice."  For instance a parent can privately and gently correct a behavior; this is kind although no child finds it "nice."

*Why do you think Paul asked us to "put on a heart of kindness?" Doesn't kindness come naturally? Here my children and I thought of people who seemed to be naturally kind.  Then we talked about the fact that the Spirit of God produces kindness in our lives (Galatians 2:22-24). Even if it is not our "personality" or our "nature", if we are walking in the Spirit we wille learn to be kind!

*Think of a time when someone was kind to you.  What did they do?  Is kindness the same in every situation? One way to work through this question is to explore how kindness is expressed across age groups.  (We are kind to babies when we play instead of ignore them; we are kind to busy young parents when we sit with them and help them at church; we are kind to older people when we visit them and ask about their lives.)

*How does the golden rule help us know how to be kind? (Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31)  Be sure and begin by reading the golden rule from both passages. Work together to understand way we usual say it vs. how Jesus worded it.  Allow the kids to brainstorm how considering someone else's perspective or desires allows us to be kind to them.  Think up some silly examples of people trying to be kind but failing: for example a 70 year old who gives his 10 year old grandson Icy Hot for Christmas. Then transition into the fact that we ALL want people to be kind to us.  Fulfilling the golden rule requires us to be kind all the time.  

Insights: 

When I was doing this devotional with my kids and got to question 3, they could immediately think of several people who were naturally kind: friends who are generous, sensitive, and thoughtful, who never snap or snarl.  Do you know that kind of person too?  

I realize that our view of those people from the outside (even family members we know intimately) may not match their "insides."  In other words, they probably have their unkind moments.  Yet for me, kindness is an on-purpose kind of virtue.  In order to be kind, I need to carefully think through what would be helpful, gentle and sweet and then do it.  

And that's ok!  

If our motive, or our children's motive is to love others, to treat them well, and to please God, it is perfectly acceptable for it not to be "natural."  We know that virtues like patience or perseverance require practice and discipline to develop.   But kindness can be learned too!

So how do we teach kindness to our children?  

1. We should point out kindnesses they can do right now: ending cards, doing chores unasked, visiting a sick friend, sharing their toys with a visitor, telling someone they did a good job, not bragging, or giving way to a tired or cranky sibling. 

2. We can help them reason through what they would want to happen in a given situation.  For instance, "If you broke your arm, what would you wish your friends would do?"  

3. We can enable their kindness.  A dollar or two will buy cards and stamps.  Half an hour will let them visit a sick friend.  Many simple kindnesses are beyond the resources of small children!

Did you miss one? 


The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Compassion Matters

Devotional 3 highlights a powerful aspect of the character of God: compassion.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Compassion Matters 

To Do:

Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say the verses aloud once or twice and see if anyone can recite the first or second verse on their own.  Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to Ask: 

*What is compassion? To be compassionate means that you are moved to help when you see someone who hurting because their pain/fear/sorrow makes you feel bad too.  Notice that compassion is more than a feeling.  In the New Testament Jesus’ compassion drives him to help. 

*Can you think of a time that Jesus was compassionate? The woman at the well (John 4), the woman caught in adultery (John 8: 1-11), feeding the 5,000 (Matthew 14:13-21) are all exanples.  If the kids think of a story but don’t know the details don’t hesitate to look it up and read it aloud! 

*When was someone compassionate to you? When were you compassionate to someone? For these questions be sure that you have an example to share and take the appropriate moment to praise anytime you have seen siblings be compassionate recently!

*Why is compassion hard? Although as adults our focus may be very wide, envisioning compassion as helping refugees from Syria or helping victims of a natural disaster, children are more likely to understand compassion as what is done for and with the other children close to them.  Accept any answer that is on topic and help them see that when we are busy, absorbed in a book or play, or have our own problems, it can be hard to think about how other people feel. 

Insights: 

As my oldest daughter began to mature, suddenly she was able to see the adults around her as people who might need compassion.  Before a certain age children see adults as aliens who are impossible to relate to; they struggle see how their words or actions impact the adults around them.  (Think about a child screaming “I hate you” and slamming the door.  A certain amount of immaturity and self-absorption is required not to see or care about his/her mother’s tears)  As we welcomed two extra members into our family for a few weeks, of course the number  of chores that needed done immediately increased.  Seeing my work load, my teen had compassion on me; without being asked she  pitched in at every opportunity to make things easier.  

This devotional may be a good time to let kids know that  adults sometimes forget what it is like to be small.  We should try to ‘walk a mile in their shoes’ and have compassion. Children also need to stretch their imaginations and try to think about things from an adult's perspective.  That's what compassion is all about. 

Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters