How do I obey God when my husband isn't on board?

“How do I obey God when my husband isn’t on board?”

Even through the computer I could hear the despair in her voice.  I’ve been in “women’s ministry” a very long time, basically the whole of my adult life and it’s a question I’ve heard before.  I’ve heard it whispered as a woman of God told a hard truth about her husband.  I’ve heard it wailed as an angry woman complained about a godly man that she couldn’t get to do what she wanted.  I’ve heard a baby Christian wonder out loud how she is supposed to implement what she is learning in her non-Christian home. 

Some Bible questions are easy to answer (Does God love you? Yes.  No matter your situation the answer is always yes.) but some like this one are thorny.  I can’t begin to help a woman come to an answer without knowing her, her situation, and her husband.  And dear reader, as much as I think about you and pray for you, I don’t KNOW you.  But we can talk about some principles straight from God’s word so you can apply them to your own relationship with God and your husband.

Should I be having sex?

Should I be having sex?  

No.  If you are single, sisters, the answer is simply “No.”  

No, if you are in your teens and your health teachers explain that abstinence is an unhealthy, old-fashioned, unrealistic idea. 

No, if you are in your 20s and engaged or considering moving in with your boyfriend.

No, if you are in your 30 or 40s and still single or single again.

No, if you are 50s or 60s or older and left alone by a spouse's death.  

To the unmarried God simply says, “No.”

(If this list doesn’t apply to you, sweet sister, because you are married, I really encourage you to go read the YES! side of this post written by my friend Angela at the Dilligent Woman.)

Compassion Matters

Devotional 3 highlights a powerful aspect of the character of God: compassion.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Compassion Matters 

To Do:

Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say the verses aloud once or twice and see if anyone can recite the first or second verse on their own.  Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to Ask: 

*What is compassion? To be compassionate means that you are moved to help when you see someone who hurting because their pain/fear/sorrow makes you feel bad too.  Notice that compassion is more than a feeling.  In the New Testament Jesus’ compassion drives him to help. 

*Can you think of a time that Jesus was compassionate? The woman at the well (John 4), the woman caught in adultery (John 8: 1-11), feeding the 5,000 (Matthew 14:13-21) are all exanples.  If the kids think of a story but don’t know the details don’t hesitate to look it up and read it aloud! 

*When was someone compassionate to you? When were you compassionate to someone? For these questions be sure that you have an example to share and take the appropriate moment to praise anytime you have seen siblings be compassionate recently!

*Why is compassion hard? Although as adults our focus may be very wide, envisioning compassion as helping refugees from Syria or helping victims of a natural disaster, children are more likely to understand compassion as what is done for and with the other children close to them.  Accept any answer that is on topic and help them see that when we are busy, absorbed in a book or play, or have our own problems, it can be hard to think about how other people feel. 

Insights: 

As my oldest daughter began to mature, suddenly she was able to see the adults around her as people who might need compassion.  Before a certain age children see adults as aliens who are impossible to relate to; they struggle see how their words or actions impact the adults around them.  (Think about a child screaming “I hate you” and slamming the door.  A certain amount of immaturity and self-absorption is required not to see or care about his/her mother’s tears)  As we welcomed two extra members into our family for a few weeks, of course the number  of chores that needed done immediately increased.  Seeing my work load, my teen had compassion on me; without being asked she  pitched in at every opportunity to make things easier.  

This devotional may be a good time to let kids know that  adults sometimes forget what it is like to be small.  We should try to ‘walk a mile in their shoes’ and have compassion. Children also need to stretch their imaginations and try to think about things from an adult's perspective.  That's what compassion is all about. 

Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Lovers of Self

I'm reading a Junie B. Jones book with my daughter right now.  I'll read a page or two then she'll read a page or two.  Working together on this charming book is good for both of us: good for her as she stretches her ability to concentrate and good for me as I learn about being a "Shellfish."