Maggie, Aretha and Kyla-Marriages in conflict over God

Let's imagine an ordinary Monday...

You wake up with a beautiful idea, a plan, a conviction from God. And you are ready to get started.  But then you remember that the last time you had one of these brilliant ideas your husband squashed you like a bug.  He hasn't even woken up and you can feel your resentment building.  You start flipping bacon and by the time he stumbles towards his morning cup of joe, your mood has turned bitter.  You've  already had the argument with him in your head, so why say anything at all!

Is that your story? 

When I wrote last week's post about what to do when you feel your husband isn't on board with your desire to serve God, I had lots of great conversation on Facebook, on the blog and in person. These talks taught me that this is even more difficult and controversial a topic than I imagined.  

How do I obey God when my husband isn't on board?

“How do I obey God when my husband isn’t on board?”

Even through the computer I could hear the despair in her voice.  I’ve been in “women’s ministry” a very long time, basically the whole of my adult life and it’s a question I’ve heard before.  I’ve heard it whispered as a woman of God told a hard truth about her husband.  I’ve heard it wailed as an angry woman complained about a godly man that she couldn’t get to do what she wanted.  I’ve heard a baby Christian wonder out loud how she is supposed to implement what she is learning in her non-Christian home. 

Some Bible questions are easy to answer (Does God love you? Yes.  No matter your situation the answer is always yes.) but some like this one are thorny.  I can’t begin to help a woman come to an answer without knowing her, her situation, and her husband.  And dear reader, as much as I think about you and pray for you, I don’t KNOW you.  But we can talk about some principles straight from God’s word so you can apply them to your own relationship with God and your husband.

A Cold and Graceless Way?

Read the Bible.

Do what it says.

Does that sound...well cold to you?

Or legalistic?

Or graceless?

Like it is too simple to work?

It is.  Up to now we've left out one very crucial aspect.

Did you miss the first two videos?  Video 1        Video 2

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Helene

PS.Are you looking for the book we were talking about?  We are running a Give-a-Gift, Get-a-Gift promotion. Check it out! 

Catch me linking up at: Darling Down Diaries,Friday Frivolity, Create with Joy, Mommy Moments, Sunday Thoughts, Create with Joy, Inspiration Monday,  

Honoring our Parents

One of the first verses I had my children memorize was Ephesians 6:1: Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  I liked having a verse that specifically applied to children, and if they obeyed the verse, it helped me out!  However, the mandate to honor and obey parents is not limited to people under 18.  In the lists of sinful activities in Romans 1 and 2 Timothy 3 have "disobedient to parents" among such sins as murder and malicious gossip. Serious stuff.  How can we as adult children make sure that we are not falling into sin as regards the people who raised us? Once again, we must turn to the example of Jesus.  As an adult, he showed us how to respect our parents by the way he treated his own mother.

A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving

The Holiday of Thanksgiving might be over, but as Christians we know that we should have an "attitude of gratitude" all year round.  In an attempt to foster gratefulness in my children, we already say something we are thankful for every morning on the way to school.  Lately, though, I've been thinking we can do more than that.  In the Old Testament, the Israelite people made peace offerings, including offerings of thanksgiving (Leviticus 7), and out of that the term "sacrifice of thanksgiving" came into being.  While it sometimes referred to the actual offering of an animal and leavened or unleavened bread, the phrase also came to signify the many ways we can express our thankfulness to God. 

The Shoulds

I am a girl of discipline.  I don't mean I am a disciplined person; in fact if there is a category of sins I have struggled with more than any other, it is those related to self-control.  I mean that I count on my daily disciplines to help me stay on track.  I need those external railings to keep me on the road of self-control.  I read my Bible, do devotionals with my girls, pray, worship etc in a rhythm of days and weeks that sustains and steadies me.  Not because I am strong but because I am weak.  I do them for the joy and when the joy fails me I do them because I should. 

Getting Off My Rump

Sometimes I am frustrated by the fact that the Bible doesn't give us black and white answers for every situation.  Even in the spiritual disciplines, the Word can be vague.  We are commanded to give, but how much? The Bible emphasizes the importance of prayer, but when is the best time?  For me the most maddeningly hazy area of Scripture is parenting.  I would love to open my Bible and find a verse that says, "When thy 2 year old child shall throw herself on the floor, thou shalt ignore her.  Verily, if she continues to wail and gnash her teeth, the rod is what thou shalt use." 

The Crazy Sermon

Since I read Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love," (read the post here) obedience has been much on my mind.  In the first chapter he challenges readers to imagine how their lives would be different if they took Jesus's words seriously.  So as I read Matthew, the Sermon on the Mount pummeled me.  All day I've been asking myself to imagine that I wanted to obey Jesus' words.  Not make excuses, not explain away the hard sayings but really genuinely try to obey.  It's not going so well.

Trying to Be Nice

The hardest, most rewarding job I've ever had is parenting.  About the time I think I've got a handle on things, my youngest decides that defiance is really fun, and I feel in over my head again.  Of course, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Watching my oldest learn to read, hearing my son point out all the ways Beaver Cleaver is dishonest, taking pictures of the baby (can I still call her that at 22 months?) with spaghetti all over her face all these are highlights of my day.

Jesus was not a Bible Basher

Middle school was a tough time for me.  In seventh grade, I had some friends who liked to pick on other kids, and I joined them.  Church camp the following summer was a pivotal time for me, as I realized that if I wanted to say I follow Jesus, I couldn't behave that way anymore.  Unfortunately, I let the pendulum swing too far, and my eighth grade year I was something of a self-righteous snot. 

11,000 Miles Away

When I was a child my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My dad and his siblings committed to the challenge of caring for her at home.  This was out of deference to her deep desire to stay where her husband had lived and died, where her children were raised, and where she had spent her entire adult life.  It was sacrificial love.  It wasn't easy on any of them at the last, including my parents who lived 12 hours away by car and drove up every other weekend to take their turn at the 24/7 care that she needed.  

Faithfulness

As I faced off with the fruits of the Spirit, it was obvious where I needed to begin.  Things like kindness and self-control jumped out as obvious places where the Spirit had been working or where perhaps I was thwarting His work.  When I took a hard look at faithfulness though, I was boggled.

Brain Food

I've been told by people who go on various eating plans that after cutting a particular food from your diet (processed foods, simple carbs, etc), you eventually lose the craving for it.  Although I've never been able to avoid simple carbs for long enough to test the theory to its limits, I guess I can see how it works. I don't really like fast food any more since my cooking is so much better (I'm not bragging; fast food is just that bad).