9 Tips for an Amazing Ladies' Day

Ladies' lectureship, a Ladies' Day, a retreat, a Ladies' night out-whatever you call it, planning and executing these kinds of events is hard! Last time we dealt with topics, themes, speakers and decor. This time I gathered the collective experience of wise women from my email list and the minister's wives I knew. And I compiled all kinds of great tips to share with you!  

1. Put God First: This seems obvious, but in fact it is an important and subtle principle. Consider this question: 

We are thinking about having a women’s ministry event. What should we do first?  

a) Brainstorm

b) Form a committee

c) Do an internet search

d) Pray

All the answers are good, but let’s pray first.  Let’s think about the message we want to be brought from the Word of God before a cute theme.  The spiritual food before the breakfast tea.  Lifting our voices as sisters in worship before we count the number of people who came.  All our planning will be better if we START with God. 

Kelli Hughett suggests one of the ways to this is "have a devotional for the women involved the night before to focus on Jesus before the big day."

2. Don't underestimate your audience.  Provide the women with solid lessons.  Michelle Braun Bolen said, "I personally, am not a fan of Ladies' Day "fluff."  For myself and others, we like "meat" for deep lessons straight out of scripture. Lessons can be kinda "feel goodie" or "too girlie." I want "meat"- deep contextual study."  Choosing the right speaker, theme and tone contributes to a time of real study. 

Also don't underestimate women's willingness to participate.  Another lady said that in her congregation little girls are invited up to lead singing and it's the highlight of everyone's day (and a great moment when hostesses can escape for a moment to finish lunch!).

3. Choose a speaker carefully: Start looking well in advance-many well known speakers only take a limited number of speaking appointments every year.  Think about geographical limitations- wherever you live in the United States there are speakers within a few hours of your congregation.  (Check out both speaker recommendations and a link to an extensive list of speakers here)

Finding a quality speaker with open dates is an issue I saw frequently addressed.  Dene Ward from Flight Paths said, "Finding speakers with open dates seems to be a big problem, and those capable of offering more than the average women could bring on her own." Mrs. Hughett said, "Pay a speaker well for her time.  Fly in the best you can get for your budget.  We value what we pay for."

4. Open up: Although it is easier to plan for two thirty-minute lessons, allowing time for ladies to ask questions and interact with each other and the speaker can improve your Ladies' Day.  

Dene Ward from "Flight Paths" says, "One place had me open myself up to a question and answer period after the talk.  It was a little scary for me because you never know what someone will say or ask, but I think it helped the audience to relate to me better and thus to accept my words easier.  Afterwards, there were even people who approached me one on one, and I don't think they would have if not for that session." 

Similiarly, don't be afraid of breakout sessions. When I asked for feedback, lots of women said these were their favorites.  Not only was it participatory, but making new friends and connections and sharing the hearts of other Christian women is amazing.  The silly games did not get nearly so good a review!

5.Think about budgets:  Ladies days are often inexpensive or even free for attendees, but most retreats have a charge.  Please think carefully about ways that you can include and not shame sisters with less generous budgets.  I have heard (again from Mrs. Ward) about places that offer “scholarships” for those who can’t afford to attend.  In the past, my church has subsidized things we decided to do as a group to make them more affordable or simply announced the cost and said that anyone who needed help to participate could speak to the elders privately.  On the other side, a generous person might be willing to help defray some of the cost ahead of time.

6. Don’t be defeated by the “committee.”  My dad says, “If you trust a man to do a job, trust him to do it right.”  In other words committees and micromanagement are the death of any good work.  Let me suggest meeting together, have someone take notes, and then compile a list of each person's responsibilites and then meet in a few weeks to discuss any problems that were met.  If everyone (or anyone) has to ok every detail, the process will get bogged down. 

7. Advertising:  Get the word out!  And be creative.  Your local paper (online or traditional)  may be willing to do a story on the event.  You can send invitations through the mail to every congregation in an hour’s drive.  Get on Facebook and make an event so it is easy for members to invite friends.  Have someone in your congregation design a Facebook Ad and spend 3 dollars to promote it!  

Jania Otey said, "One year the ladies at our old congregation were divided into groups.  Each group was encouraged to invite non-members to the program and collectively pray for their efforts." I love the practical focus on evangelism from this suggestion.

8. Audience: Carefully consider not just who is likely to come but who you would like to come.  Sometimes we unintentionally exclude younger women because we choose times, topics and speakers that just don’t work for them or we don't consider their need for childcare. Also you might like to have a speaker and topic aimed at seekers in your community and strongly encourage your ladies to bring friends and co-workers. 

9. Practical considerations: 

• Folks will leave after lunch and/or grow sleepy.  So you may want to have a late lunch and not plan an after lunch session. 
• Try not wear your workers out. Spread out the work and be sure the ladies in your congregation get to benefit from the lessons as well.
• Be aware that there will be people on special diets.  Simple whole foods are often easy for everyone to eat (a vegetable tray or fresh whole fruit).  You might also consider making an ingredient list available upon request. 
• Relax.  Stuff will go wrong. It's ok!

Are you excited about attending some Ladies' Days/Retreats soon?  Check out this list of events!

April 14 - 10am-2pm Allons church of Christ, Allons, TN. Lunch provided.  Kathy Pollard will speak.

April 14 - Highway church of Christ in Benton Ar.  Sharla Owens will speak.

April 21 - Eagleville church of Christ in Eagleville, Missouri. Luvenia Noblin Jenkins will be speaking. 

April 21 - Warner Robins GA. The speaker will be Jania Otey. 

May 4-5 - Worland church of Christ, Ten Sleep, Wyoming, at the Circle J Ranch.  Starts Friday at 6 with dinner.  Ends Saturday at 1:00. Dennell Dennis will be talk about "Ripples on the Water."

May 12 - 9am-12pm Corinth church of Christ. Amanda Noyes Keys speaking on "Sowing the Seed."

Catch me linking up at any of these fine places: Mommy-Moments, Spiritual Sundays, Inspire Me Monday, Holly Gerth, The Mom Gene, Good Morning Monday,  The Modest Mom Blog, Moments of Hope, God-sized Dreams, Glimpses, Breakthrough Homeschooling,Be Thee Inspired, Facebook.com/groups/saltandlightgroup

Identity Matters

Devotional 2 brings us face to face with a powerful motivator: Identity.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Identity matters:

To Do: 

Read Colossians 3:1-4.  Say them aloud once or twice and see if anyone can recite the first verse on their own.  Then read Colossians 3:12-14.

Questions to ask:

*Why should we be good?  Expect kids to say things like, “so we can go to heaven,” “so we don’t go to Hell,” “Because God said so,” and “So we don’t get in trouble.”  Even though these aren’t the answers in the text, don’t hesitate to praise kids for any answer on topic. 

*Why does Paul say we should do all these behaviors?  If the kids don’t come up with “because we are chosen” and “because we are holy and dearly loved” read the passage to them again and ask what Paul said exactly.  

*How were we chosen by God? (Ephesians 1:3-6)

*What does it mean to be holy? Don’t worry if the kids don’t know a good definition.  Emphasize that the idea is that God is without mistake, without sin, without an ugly thought or an ill intention.  He is perfect and complete.  We are, in our unredeemed state, as unholy as can be.  Yet when we were raised up with Christ we were declared holy.  Now, in these verses, Paul calls us to live up to the family standard. 

*Can you point to a Bible verse that says we are beloved?  (John 3:16 and many more)

Insights: Notice what Paul does not say, he doesn’t say, "Be kind or go to hell!" or "Be compassionate or God will get you!" The powerful truth that our sin separates us from God and can cause us horrifying consequences is not the only truth.  It is also true that we are cleansed, raised, beloved and holy. We are driven by that identity to become more like our Father and to imitate our elder Brother.  

Kids can understand this point in two important ways.  First in a family we have certain standards.  For instance in our family obedience and kindness are powerfully important.  Other people may talk back or snap and snarl at one another but in our family that is unacceptable. When we become Christians we join God’s family which has its own standards of behavior.  Paul is saying since we are beloved children in the family of God we have to act like it!

Second, kids can understand that they are grounded in the love of God.   Lots of times we are less than kind, less than compassionate because we feel threatened.  Someone’s action leave us questioning our worth and value so we attack back.  Yet when we really understand that the Creator of the entire Universe chose us and calls us His dearly loved ones, nothing anyone else has to say about our identity matters. 

Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Does it work?

My marriage is in trouble. If we started coming to church, do you think it would work?

I’ve got a kid who is breaking my heart. If I prayed for him, do you think it would work?

I’ve got cancer and I’m really scared to die. If I asked God to heal me, do you think it would work?

Does it work?  

That is a question I have heard before.  It’s a question that hurts me because it so often comes from a  place of immense pain and fear.  But I’m sorry to say it’s the wrong question. Why? Because it implies that we are willing to serve God if it will work (IE if we will get what we want.) 

Too Stupid to be Afraid

My dad has long said that I was "too stupid to be afraid."  I don't think this is an insult.  I suspect grudging admiration.  He is every bit as adventuresome as me.  And he doesn't really think I'm dumb.  It's just that a certain amount of fear is a smart response to a dangerous situation. 

Teach Me Your Statutes

This New Year I have dusted off my audio Bible.  Specifically I committed to spending my first 25 minutes of listening for the day to listening to my Bible.  I am on track with all the folks who are reading and HOURS behind on my usual podcasts.  I am absorbed by the Torah.

Sister, Value Yourself

My sweet sister, value yourself.  

Women have been at the forefront of the news.  Not only because of the rise of LGBT, the resurgence of the "reproductive rights", and the recent Women's march but because so many women young and old feel devalued.

It's no wonder we feel devalued.  We have sold the truth for a lie (Proverbs 23:23).  

Women are devalued when they are exploited, taught that they are only valuable as sexual objects.  It happens when women read porn; it happens when women become porn.  It happens when women believe (and so dress) as if their boobs were more valuable than their brains.  You think women's education is disrupted by enforcing a dress code?  I think girls struggle to receive an education when our society and their parents have encouraged them to think of themselves as 16 year old sex objects instead of 16 year old scholars. The lie: A woman's value lies in her attractiveness.  The truth: Women are intrinsically valuable-humans made in the image of God.

Women are devalued when they believe that they are victims, constantly attacked and belittled so they should take up arms and militantly defend their rights.  The women of God, like the men of God are meek.  We are spiritual warriors, mighty in prayer.  When we suffer in the world, our Father takes up our cause.  The lie: Men and the paternalistic society are our enemies and we must fight even harder for our rights.  The truth: Women are often mistreated in the this world.  Yet the women of God seek justice at the throne of God and stand in peace for those who are mistreated, brother and sister alike. 

Women are devalued when they categorize themselves.  To the single some mutter, "Why can't you find a man?  Without a family you are nothing." To the married others mutter "The man you married has made you barefoot and pregnant, a servant in your own house." Women are never nothing.  Each one has the potential to become a daughter of the King, priests of our God, holy, mighty in prayer.  We are not only the nurturers of life, we can bring people to new life.  The lie: Our worth is found in our marriage or in our career.  The truth: Whether we are in the workplace, in our home or out having fun, we are all servants in God's house.  Checking the box, "married" or "single" will never be as important as serving Him well. 

Women devalue themselves by choosing lie over truth.

Let me tell you the truth, sisters.  You are of immense value.  Your Father adores you and wants you to becoming everything you can be.  But that "everything" isn't skinny, or curvy, married or single or any other category that the world trumpets.  God's everything is holy, self-controlled, peaceful, meek, powerful and gentle.   God's everything reflects His character and is empowered by His Spirit.  The truth will set you free from the world's expectations and bring you into your Father's light. 

So let me beg you sisters, value yourself because the Father values you.  

  

Who do you think you are dealing with?

Belshazzar threw a party with a thousand guests.  In a bid to impress the nobles, because he was drunk, or simply because the bouquet of the wine demanded superior vessels, he called for the temple ware. Years before when the aging Daniel was a boy, Nebuchadnezzar had looted God's temple when he sacked the city of Jerusalem.  So in a dusty storehouse somewhere the holy vessels of gold and silver sat waiting.  When these sacred artifacts were brought forth and filled with wine, Belshazzar raise his glass and praised the "gods of gold and silver, of bronze, iron, wood and stone."

What on earth did he think he was doing?

Gifts from the Giver

He believed in American values.  He was hard-working and understood that this was the only path to wealth and power.  He told it like it is, and he never understated his achievements.  He knew how to get ahead, how to self-promote and how to be a world class administrator.  He built an empire; he was the envy of all.

Who was this mysterious powerhouse?

Praising God is Theology

What does it mean to praise God?  If you are imagining voices lifted in song, a man sitting alone with a fishing pole meditating and watching the sunrise, or a relieved parent telling everyone about their blessings when they discover their child is indeed cancer-free you are on the right track.  However this is the expression of praise not the source of it. The person who is singing God’s praises is using words that express one of the many amazing things we know about God.  The man who contemplates the sunrise praises God as one who created all and declared it good.  The parent who tells the doctors, the nurses, and everyone in the waiting room how God has blessed her praises God as the one who answers prayers and sustains his people in their darkest moments. 

Last Friday’s post was all about praise-what it does and when we do it.  Imagining ourselves in any of the above situations, it’s easy to imagine praise falling from our lips.  But as we learned last week, the people of God were prepared to praise God not just in those easy moments but in emergencies, in times of fear, and in suffering.  

How can we do that?  By being better theologians.  Theology is simply the study of God, and if we are students of God’s heart and his character, then we too are theologians.  

Praising God is theology. 

I Am Not Afraid.

I’m not afraid.  

I am not afraid of thunderstorms, heights, dogs, or mice.  They are little things that have been known to startle me (barking dogs and thunderstorms) or make me mad (Rodents of all kinds infuriate me! Tiny little home invaders!).  To say that I am afraid of them would be an exaggeration.  

I am not afraid of ISIS or any terrorist domestic or foreign.  They can beware of me. They have guns; I have prayer. They steal life - precious to me because it represents the days I have here to serve my King and his people.  Yet if they steal it, they have only moved the place I am praying from earth to under the heavenly altar (Revelation 6:9-11). 

Bouts of Conflict: Jesus our Referee

Conflict. I hate it.  I love peace, and I have been known to try and keep “peace” even when a little honesty and airing of disagreements would have served the relationship far better.  So if there are any of you out there who looked at the very TITLE of the post and didn’t want to read it, trust me, I get it.  

He Does What He Said He Would Do

She grows frailer by the day.  The vigorous outdoor activities that they loved to do together are far beyond her now as is rising from the couch, bathing herself and using the toilet alone. 

He's a macho guy with health problems of his own, but these days he's her whole world.  With the tenderness of a mother and the strength of father, he tends to her.  He's an indifferent cook, so often he wheels her out to the truck and gently levers her inside for a run through the drive through.

Lovers of Pleasure Rather Than Lovers of God

We've explored the question here before of what it means to really love God, yet when I ran across this phrase in 2 Timothy 3:4, "lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God," I was stunned.

It would be easy to dismiss this verse without carefully considering it.  Obviously it does not mean that we are supposed to give up all earthly pleasures and joys.  A good steak, a snuggle with a sleepy toddler, a porch swing, a concert, a sunset, these simple pleasures are surely not what God had in mind here. 

Puppy Love

2 weeks before Christmas, we adopted a puppy.  She's a 4 month old terrier mix named Toffee. Let me just tell you, nobody can love like a puppy.  She may be the only creature on the planet who loves my husband as ridiculously as I do.  (His mom is close but she has two more girls to love, and for Toffee, he is the entire universe).

Church Clothes

During last summer's vacation through SE Asia we made several stops that required "special" clothes.  Not only were no shoes allowed (something we were familiar with from our Malaysian trip), but everyone was required to wear long pants (and spandex did not count) and shirts with sleeves, and to leave their cameras in a locked box outside. In one place we were patted down to be certain we didn't try to sneak in a cell phone. Finally everyone needed to speak in a whisper.  Having read ahead we were prepared with long pants for my husband and dresses and skirts for the girls and I.  Less experienced tourists were offered wrap dresses or large linen pants to cover up with. 

Praise Him, Praise Him

My prayer grounded to a halt.  I sound so silly, I thought. God, you are great; you are awesome; you are loving. I say the same things every day, and it isn't enough.  I can't wait to go to heaven, where I can praise God better.  Maybe I should just sing my praises because simple words seem so inadequate.  Does God get tired of hearing the same things over and over?  It isn't as if He needs to hear what he has done or what his character traits are day after day.

 

Heartache and Confidence: Hezekiah's Prayers

I remember the first time I prayed desperately, on my face.  My son was two weeks old, and I got a call from the doctor.  "We need you to come in; it's about your baby's newborn screenings."  Not content to wait until the doctor had an opening, I made them tell me what was wrong.  He had failed the screening for Cystic Fibrosis.  I would have to take him to the nearest Children's Hospital for further testing, but they couldn't fit us in until the next week.  For that week, I was a wreck.  I thought my faith was strong, but I was unable to stop worrying as I prayed with bitter tears.  As a loving Father, God was with me and answered my prayers.  But I could have saved myself much grief if I had prayed more like Hezekiah's second prayer and less like his first.

Mirroring the God of Comfort

Last week, we took a look at how God comforts his children, even when they are suffering for their own sin.  The Israelites suffered when the Babylonians took them into exile for forty years, and God gave them words of comfort, even though they were exiled because of their idolatry and materialism.  Christians today suffer for their sins too.  Sometimes we experience the discipline of the Lord or the discipline of His church.  Sometimes we just suffer the natural consequences of our sins. It can be difficult to feel compassion for someone who brings suffering on herself, but if our Father is in the comforting business, we should be too. 

Character of God: Mercy

Covenant: The agreement between God and man.  Like a contract, there are requirements and penalties set out on both sides.  Unlike a contract, it is based not on law but on the personal integrity of the two often unequal parties. 

God of all Comfort

When I look at the world today, I see so much pain. Many times the hurt people suffer is a direct or indirect consequence of their own sin.  Divorce runs rampant, and custody battles are a nightmare for parents and children alike.  Cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs wreak havoc on bodies even years after the habit is kicked.  When girls give themselves to guys who later throw them aside, they feel guilt and shame for months. Sometimes it is hard to have compassion on people who are suffering because of their own actions, but the God we serve is the God of comfort, even to people mired in the pain that their sin brings.