My Most Potent Weapon Against Fear

Recently I was in church feeling all the feelings. If one more person said, "How are you handling this?" I was going to dissolve into a puddle of snot and tears.  My oldest graduated from High School that Saturday and all the love and attention I was getting was only making it worse.

I didn't even know why I was so upset.

But sitting there praying as the communion trays were passed I suddenly understood.

I was afraid. Afraid of time passing, of things changing, and losing the close relationship we've shared. I wanted to pretend it was all sadness, but in that moment of communion I knew the truth.  I was afraid.

It's not the first time (or the second) I've faced fear.  Or re-learned the hard lesson about trusting God with my unknowns.

Fear is my enemy.  Caution can be a wise friend but fear is a thief.  It steals today's happiness to be replaced with tomorrow's worries.  How can we fight this enemy?  What is my most potent weapon against that fear?

Swing over to Jerushaagen.com and find out!  I have a compete guest post there and I am excited to share with you how I fight fear!

6 Strategies For Dealing With Anger

Sister, is being slow to anger the same thing as swallowing our anger?  

You know it’s not! The first is an aspect of God and a godly person (Exodus 34:6-7).  The other is a kind of self-deception and not healthy--bringing pain and disease in our bodies, our minds, our relationships, and our souls.

Do's and Don'ts of Ladies Bible class

I have cried, prayed, been convicted and been gathered in when I was altogether lost. Where?  At a revival?  A gospel meeting?  Some fantastic internet sermon?  Nope.  Ladies' Bible Class. 

I love ladies' Bible class.  I have been a member or a teacher of a class ever since I was an adult. Amazing things happen there.  I have seen women drawn to Christ simply by the fellowship.  I have seen marriages turned around as sisters gathered together to learn how to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). 

Not only that, but I feel that these "Ladies' Bible classes" are an application of Paul's words in Titus 2.  Women are commanded to teach each other-older to the younger.  It's how we learn how to do what we should like love our kids and our husbands, keep our houses to the glory of God, and be kind, sensible and good.  

But how can we have that amazing class?  The kind where we are convicted, repent and are transformed? Let me offer you some "do's" and "don'ts."

Do's

Do be honest.  We've written about honesty before, and the way one person's truth encourages others not only to confess but to feel less alone.  (Truth be told, Truth be told 2) 

Do have a confidential class.  Wednesday night's confession can not be Thursday morning's gossip.

Do study the Bible.  I am not against study books (I have one on sale right now, with a very special bonus just for teachers!).  But no book replaces the Word of God.  Every student needs a Bible open and in use.  Nothing I have to say, nothing any author has to say, trumps the word of God.

Do prepare.  The class will be better if even a few of the members will read ahead.  Make sure you have read the scripture, note down any questions you have, take a few minutes to pray that day for your teacher/class and fill your mind with the Word of God.

Do be open.  Close-knit classes are hard to break into.  Every class needs someone to wave newcomers to an empty seat, find them a Bible, smile and introduce them to others, and welcome them to come back again.  

Do be integrated.  Although our churches have followed our culture by segregating people by age-youth group, young professionals, parents, golden agers etc, women especially need the connection of women older and younger than them. 

Do speak carefully.  "Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person," wrote Paul (Colossians 4:6).  He could have been writing to us.  We need to think carefully and speak gently.  This is especially true when sisters have some painful area of their lives (divorce, infidelity, infertility, grief etc) or if we have to correct or confront a sister. 

Don'ts

Don't be negative.  The class must be free from husband-bashing, griping about the elders, running down the minister or general gossip.  Remember Jesus' admonition to deal with problems personally and face to face.

Don't neglect the chance to serve.  I have seen ladies Bible classes do amazing things: send cards, arrange for the care of a widow while her daughter was out of town, send cloth diapers to a missionary with a new baby, and build a church building in South America. Let study naturally flow to action.

Don't forget to pray.  Although I have seen classes devolve into a half hour of chatting and 5 minutes of prayer before the bell rings, I still feel prayer is a crucial part of the process of Ladies' Bible class.  For one thing it is the only opportunity most women have to pray with and for their sisters each week.  For another, it is a private and confidential place to beg for intercession.  

Don't be divided.  Women fall prey to Satan's divide and conquer scheme. We allow competition and envy to defeat us.  We judge each other on issues unrelated to our faith   or even worse entirely related to our Christian freedom.  Satan wins when sisters don't stick together. 

If you are a part of an amazing class, I can't wait to hear all about it!  Tell me what your class is doing, how they are changing, and what they are studying!

Helene

PS  If you are looking for new material for next quarter, or if you feel like your class just needs a reboot, I want to help.  Click here to get to my videos introducing Women of Action:Transformed by Obedience.  

The Mean Friend

Do you have a mean friend?  That friend that will tell you the truth when everyone else politely lies? (“Hey Honey, your new deodorant isn’t doing the trick!”).  That friend who will ask you the hard questions, (“Yes, I understand she’s annoying, but are you exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit?”).  The friend who reminds you of your own responsibility, (“This is the just the kind of growth you were praying for!”) That friend who prays for you and cries with you, but she’ll also confess with you and call you to repent?

I have that friend.  Sometimes I am that friend.  And we all need a friend like that to love us enough to tell us the truth. 

To Speak or Not to Speak: A Social Media Rubric

When we lived abroad, I lived an entirely apolitical life.  I had no opportunity (nor desire) to speak about the politics of our host country and no need to think about the politics half a world away in America.  But since we have been back, (especially this last 12 months) it seems to be the only topic of conversation.  I have been thinking about it a lot and finally came up with these 6 passages to help me sort out how to deal with these conversations and my own responsibility.

Sister, Value Yourself

My sweet sister, value yourself.  

Women have been at the forefront of the news.  Not only because of the rise of LGBT, the resurgence of the "reproductive rights", and the recent Women's march but because so many women young and old feel devalued.

It's no wonder we feel devalued.  We have sold the truth for a lie (Proverbs 23:23).  

Women are devalued when they are exploited, taught that they are only valuable as sexual objects.  It happens when women read porn; it happens when women become porn.  It happens when women believe (and so dress) as if their boobs were more valuable than their brains.  You think women's education is disrupted by enforcing a dress code?  I think girls struggle to receive an education when our society and their parents have encouraged them to think of themselves as 16 year old sex objects instead of 16 year old scholars. The lie: A woman's value lies in her attractiveness.  The truth: Women are intrinsically valuable-humans made in the image of God.

Women are devalued when they believe that they are victims, constantly attacked and belittled so they should take up arms and militantly defend their rights.  The women of God, like the men of God are meek.  We are spiritual warriors, mighty in prayer.  When we suffer in the world, our Father takes up our cause.  The lie: Men and the paternalistic society are our enemies and we must fight even harder for our rights.  The truth: Women are often mistreated in the this world.  Yet the women of God seek justice at the throne of God and stand in peace for those who are mistreated, brother and sister alike. 

Women are devalued when they categorize themselves.  To the single some mutter, "Why can't you find a man?  Without a family you are nothing." To the married others mutter "The man you married has made you barefoot and pregnant, a servant in your own house." Women are never nothing.  Each one has the potential to become a daughter of the King, priests of our God, holy, mighty in prayer.  We are not only the nurturers of life, we can bring people to new life.  The lie: Our worth is found in our marriage or in our career.  The truth: Whether we are in the workplace, in our home or out having fun, we are all servants in God's house.  Checking the box, "married" or "single" will never be as important as serving Him well. 

Women devalue themselves by choosing lie over truth.

Let me tell you the truth, sisters.  You are of immense value.  Your Father adores you and wants you to becoming everything you can be.  But that "everything" isn't skinny, or curvy, married or single or any other category that the world trumpets.  God's everything is holy, self-controlled, peaceful, meek, powerful and gentle.   God's everything reflects His character and is empowered by His Spirit.  The truth will set you free from the world's expectations and bring you into your Father's light. 

So let me beg you sisters, value yourself because the Father values you.  

  

Truth Be Told (Part 2)

This is the second in a series on the idea of telling the truth.
I am naturally introverted, a generally reserved person. Still, that's no excuse for putting on my mask especially with the people who love me.  As much as I would like to hide myself sometimes it's impossible. My husband is my opposite in so many ways; one of the most honest people I know, he is forthright, direct and unafraid.  My husband frequently sees right though me and he doesn't hesitate to tell me the truth about myself.  It's one of the reasons I love him, and one of the ways the Holy Spirit convicts me. 

Truth be Told

This week we are going to be baring our souls a little bit.  Okay, I admit, we've done a little of that here already, but this week our whole theme is confession.  We'll be confessing some sins we struggle with, and finding strength from God's word as we seek to overcome those sins. ~Melissa

This is the first in a series of two posts about telling the truth

Let's be honest.  I struggle to tell the truth.  It's not so much that I make a habit of lying directly. I almost never lie.  Instead I deceive with silence.  I smile instead of express my anger.  I swallow my resentment and refuse to speak my heart.  When my family is in a crisis, when my heart is broken, when I would benefit enormously from my sisters' support, I can't bring myself to speak. I skim over my prayers with a quick, "Please forgive me of all my sins" as if I could prevent the All-Seeing Lord from really seeing me.  I hide behind a minimal amount of truth.