Competency: What it takes to raise a Proverbs 31 girl

If you could sum the Proverbs 31 lady up in one word what would it be?  

My daughter drew a series of illustrations to sum her up.  There was one of her sewing with a sewing machine - a bit anachronistic but I got the idea and one of her selling the clothes she made.  There were pictures of her cooking, giving instructions, and one with her own child.

Her illustrations matched the one word in my mind.  Competent.

That lady could do stuff!  In fact, if we start considering the women of God one by one we’ll come up with lots of competent ladies.  Wise ladies (Deborah), warrior ladies (Jael), hostesses (Junia, Lydia and the mother of John Mark) poets (Hannah), dancers (Miriam), hard workers (Ruth), brave women (the auntie), and women who were steeped in the word (Huldah, Anna, Priscilla).

Competence is greatly undervalued in women.  Our culture values brashness, beauty, silliness, and ambition.  Our churches value social skill, and the roles of a wife and mother.  But when is the last time you heard someone say, “Mrs. Michelson! That lady can speak three languages and she is always down at the ESL center helping out!  How godly.” Or “Don’t you love how Mrs. Jones and her daughters spend a week each summer working with Habitats for Humanity?”

We love to encourage our girls.  We bandy about words like self-esteem and growth mindset thinking if we apply enough praise of the right type at the right moment, we’ll have strong and godly girls.  But let me suggest a different path.

Let’s teach our girls to do stuff.  And then to use their skills to honor the Lord.  Let’s teach them to clean and cook and sew and craft. Let’s teach them to garden, camp, blog and refinish upholstery.  Let’s let them go to language camp, teach them sign language, and learn a martial art.

And above all else let’s teach our girl's Bible.

When I started at Harding University they were starting a new major: “Vocational Ministry.”  It was a second major and had to be paired with a non-Bible major. The purpose was to provide Bible major level study to future deacons, elders, and vocational ministers.  But also to future Sunday School teachers, mothers and wives. I jumped at the chance. And although I didn’t have all the same classes, I got much the same education as my Bible major husband.  

The things I learned to this day effect my study, my writing, my ministry, my life.  That BIble education was priceless. I promise my teacher’s time wasn’t wasted because I am not a preacher.

Our girls need to learn Bible.  We must not for a moment imagine that their purview is simply the verses on “women’s role.”  Or the Proverbs 31 lady we mentioned before. Our girls need to memorize the books of the Bible, recite verses, memorize outlines, and learn what exegesis means.  They need wise mentors who can disciple them into strong, practical, competent followers of Jesus. And they need to start now. 4 is not too young and 12 is not too late. (Subscribe here and get a semester of free theology curriculum for tweens!)

When we look backwards to see how we want our girls to be, we are often painfully short sighted.  We look back to some idyllic and imaginary time when women all stayed home, rocked babies and waited quietly for their men to come home.  Not only is that image all wrong (those women were more than competent in their own sphere) but it simply doesn’t look back far enough. The women of the Bible were neither fainting violets, simpering idiots, nor brainless chatter boxes.  They were judges, evangelists, business women, hard workers, women of powerful wisdom.

May each one of us be about the business of teaching our girls to be the same.

Up in Smoke

Recently as I was giving my servants their morning chores (in other words I was loading the dishwasher and starting the washing machine), I was listening to my audio Bible.  As usual, I was lost in listening.  Suddenly I gasped aloud in shock.  From the other room my surprised husband called out to find out what was wrong.  Here’s the story…

Summer Kid's Devotional Series

This summer began for us with the advent of two young guests.  They’ll stay a couple of weeks and then head off to their grandma’s.  I warned their dad before they arrived that they should be ready for morning devos!  

Morning devotionals are a summertime tradition at my house.  For my homeschooler, during the school year, Bible is an academic subject.  My public school teen and I talk about how to apply God’s principles to her school life all the time.  But when the rigors of school are over, when summer slows everything down, we take a few minutes everyday after breakfast and read the Bible together.  We memorize God’s Word and think His thoughts after Him.  

The Mean Friend

Do you have a mean friend?  That friend that will tell you the truth when everyone else politely lies? (“Hey Honey, your new deodorant isn’t doing the trick!”).  That friend who will ask you the hard questions, (“Yes, I understand she’s annoying, but are you exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit?”).  The friend who reminds you of your own responsibility, (“This is the just the kind of growth you were praying for!”) That friend who prays for you and cries with you, but she’ll also confess with you and call you to repent?

I have that friend.  Sometimes I am that friend.  And we all need a friend like that to love us enough to tell us the truth. 

Baptism: An Appeal for Mercy

Baptism is one of many Bible topics that suffers from a particular kind of blindness. 

It happens most frequently to important topics.  Once long ago a teacher, an honest and dedicated person, summarized that important topic in one specific way.  He taught that to his followers.  It became a rallying cry, then a way of differentiating themselves from everyone else.  Was the teacher wrong? Not necessarily.  Perhaps not at all.  Yet these pithy ways of explaining complex topics are like a door-one that either opens up clarity into the text or one that closes the door to searching out the Word.     

I want open doors into the Word. I think you do too.  So the only thing is to lay aside what I think I know and go straight to the Bible and ask God some direct questions.  You may be as surprised by the answers as I was. 

The Diligent Woman: An Interview

Angela Legg blogs at The Diligent Woman and has a new edition of her book To Be A Handmaid of the Lord coming out very soon!  I had the privilege of interviewing her for you today.  (Interested in just buying the book?  Check out the review.)

Angela, I know your family has been an inspiration in your writing; can you introduce them and tell us about yourself as a mom?

Bryan and I have been married 22 years this June. We have five daughters, all at home. They are currently ages 19, 18, 13, 8, and 6.  Hmm, I never thought about describing myself as a mom—authoritative but hands-off? I’m a no-nonsense kind of mom. I teach them the things they need to know and then stand back and give them room to act on the knowledge.

To Be a Handmaid of the Lord: A book review

When I recently wrote "Sister Value Yourself," an old blogging friend popped up in the comments, Angela Legg.  She spoke up on this post, I'm sure, because she and I share a soap box or two.  We believe women should be encouraged to eat of the meat of the Word of God.  That so many of the failings of women in our culture are because they don't recognize their value in God's eyes.  That the most important thing we can do as teachers of women is point them back to God's love and His word!  

It's these ideas that drove the new edition of her book, To Be a Handmaid of the Lord.  I reviewed the first edition two years ago when it was designed as challenging Sunday School or homeschool material for pre/young teen girls.  And I was impressed with it then. 

Digging through Daniel

At the end of my kitchen table, an old friend sat with her 3 year old daughter.  It was breakfast time and the little one picked at her food.  Her mom turned to the next page in a  book of animal stories from the Bible, a hand-me-down from our years abroad.  After reading several stories, my friend pulled out a book of virtues and reminded her little girl of yesterday's misbehavior and today's practical ways to show God's character.  

Does three seem young to you for daily Bible study and application?  Does vacation seem like an odd time to be focused on helping a little one come to know God?  Or like me do you see here the pattern of a life of service and discipline being laid down?  

Dividing Lines

Evangelism is like having a much longed for child.  All your sisters should be excited, encouraging, and enthusiastic. And to some degree it’s true.  If you announce to your ladies’ Bible class that you talked to your best friend about coming to church with you, they’ll all give you a little pat on the back and promise to pray.  If you tell them that you signed up to grade correspondence courses or that you are going to teach a community Bible class at the Library, you’ll get proud smiles and offers to help with anything they can do.  

But when you joyfully announce something like, “One of the ladies from our prison bible class was baptized this week.  She’ll be out next month and she and her kids will get to be a real part of our congregation.”  

Do you think you’ll get that pat on the back?  

Maybe. Maybe not.

The Watchman

Of all the fears and worries of an evangelist I don’t know that there is any more discouraging than the fear of failure. Young evangelists worry, not without reason that in their inexperience they may fail.  What if I mess this up?  What if I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and make it worse? Drive people away from God? Wrong motives, wrong methods, wrong message, these are real and powerful concerns. However, if this fear is so paralyzing that she never reaches out, the battle has already been lost.

The experienced evangelist, I am afraid, has a more subtle and powerful fear. What if I do the best I can, if I pour out everything I’ve got, and no one listens. Have I failed God?  She doesn’t fear that someday someone will reject her.  She’s already been there. She has tasted the bitterness of investing hours of loving concern, Bible study and her own physical resources into a person only to have them reject her and God.  Her fear doesn’t paralyze her; it haunts her.  Will she shout and shout and no one listen?

Spiritual Reboot

I love the gym.  I love the spiritual disciplines too. I love them both the same way.  Sporadically.

Seriously, in the long-term, discipline has been a powerful component in my walk with God. It does more for my spiritual health than exercise does for my physical health.  I appreciate them all the more because I can see so clearly how empty, tempted and tired I am without them. 

Praise the Lord!

I love Ladies Bible Class.  For nearly a year, I’ve had the pleasure of teaching a class that encompasses women who have walked with God for many years, baby Christians and women who are seeking God.  I love the class for the fellowship, the joy of studying the Bible, and because my “students” teach me things all the time. 

For instance, recently I wanted to teach a lesson on the power of prayer.  I pulled out some of my favorite Old Testament prayers for examples.  I had them lined up: Nehemiah’s prayer when he wanted God to help gain the King’s favor to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem; Hezekiah’s prayer when he spread that blasphemous letter from Assyria in front of God and insisted that God uphold his good name; Daniel’s bold prayer with his Hebrew brothers that stopped the murder of the wise men and gave the King the answer he asked for.  I had so many lovely lessons we could learn from these brave prayer warriors. 

When we finished the lesson, I asked them, “What stands out to you about these prayers?”  And they piped up, “Praise. All these prayers start with praise.”  I was stunned by their point.  Think about it.   None of these men were sitting around with nothing better to do, watching a sunrise or contemplating a mountain range.  Daniel was facing his executioner and Hezekiah an enemy army. This is the perfect opportunity to stop and praise God?

But What If I Fail?

Like Helene, I don’t live in fear of external things.  (Yes, if a spider lands on me, I will run and scream like a little girl, but I can avoid the eight legged freaks for the most part.)  I teach a women’s class at a prison once a week, and I never worry about being attacked or even called names.  For one thing, there are guards watching our every move, for another I rely on God’s protection when I’m doing His work.  

The Word of God

Recently I was reading Immeasurably More, by Casandra Martin, the book we are using in my Ladies Bible class.  I came across this quote: "In God's immeasurably more, we live by a different standard.  A standard is a measuring tool. It is an authority or principle by which we test what is true.  The standard becomes our model and pattern." My first thought was, "Yes, our standard is the Bible." Then I read a few lines down. "Our standard is Jesus." The more I studied, the more I realized that we were saying the same thing.  Jesus IS the Word of God. (John 1:1-14). 

How to Have a Fantastic Ladies' Bible Class

I love ladies' Bible class.  I have been a member or a teacher of a class ever since I was an adult.  I think amazing things happen there.  I have seen women drawn to Christ simply by the fellowship.  I have seen marriages turned around as sisters gathered together to learn how to love their husbands (Titus 2:4).  I have cried, prayed, been convicted and been gathered in when I was altogether lost by wonderful women of God. 

Not only that, but I feel that these "Ladies' Bible classes" are an application of Paul's words in Titus 2.  Women are commanded to teach each other-older to the younger.  It's how we learn how to do what we should like love our kids and our husbands, keep our houses to the glory of God, and be kind, sensible and good.  

So this week, I am drawing on more than a decade of teaching and enjoying ladies' Bible classes to offer you some dos and don'ts on how to have a great class. 

Back to Basics

After a month digging deep into God's heart and relearning the meaning of the word "grace," I am reminded that the most basic words in our vocabulary  are the hardest to define.  

I know that as an English teacher.  I am constantly reminding my students to take a second look and make sure that familiar words aren't appearing in unfamiliar ways.  For example, "The fresh troops delivered the besieged city."  If you're a native English speaker you may have no idea how puzzling that sentence is.  "Deliver," a word used every day to mean "to bring something" appears here as a verb that means "to save."  

A New Tool

Do you find Bible study hard?  I do.  I just get overwhelmed with the sheer volume of Scripture and study aids. Simply picking a single book to study out of the 66 is hard for me, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of commentaries, dictionaries, concordances, and websites that are out there.  I'm always afraid that one of the study aids will lead me astray.  False teaching exists, and I'm a very gullible woman; I'm always interested in new Bible study tools that don't rely on extra-Biblical material.

Deodorant, Incense, and the Will of God

I'm not from around here.  When I'm in America, it's my ignorance that makes it plain. Music, movies, TV shows, and all things slang elicit a baffled smile.  When I'm here in Asia, it's my hair.  I'm not too tall, too big, or too oddly dressed but that headful of disheveled brown hair marks me as clearly as a neon sign, "Not from around here!"

I'm cool with it.