6 Strategies For Dealing With Anger

Sister, is being slow to anger the same thing as swallowing our anger?  

You know it’s not! The first is an aspect of God and a godly person (Exodus 34:6-7).  The other is a kind of self-deception and not healthy--bringing pain and disease in our bodies, our minds, our relationships, and our souls.

Forgiveness Matters!

Devotional 9 focuses on forgiving one another.  This devotional, like the others, is timed for less than 10 minutes, but feel free to slow down if your kids are older or have a longer attention span.  Parents your notes are in italics.  Happy studying!

Forgiving one another

To Do:  As this is the last week, it is a great time to celebrate all your hard work.  You could take your recitation and Bible reading outdoors, to your favorite coffee shop or to the park.  

Questions to Ask: 

What does “forgive” mean? Is it the same as “bear with?”  Simply we bear with people when they have not sinned against us and we forgive them when they have.  

What is the difference between saying sorry and asking for forgiveness?  Do they mean exactly the same thing?  When we say we are sorry we are talking about ourselves-we feel regretful of our actions.  When we ask for forgiveness, we are asking someone to change how they see us.  We want them to let our bad behavior go, not letting it damage our relationship.  However, in our ordinary lives we use the two statements interchangeably.

Why does Paul say we need to forgive? If the kids don’t immediately remember, you will need to reread Colossians 3:12-14. 

What have you asked God to forgive you for?  What has someone else asked you to forgive them for?  What is the connection? Sensitive kids may struggle to talk about sins aloud.  Be understanding.  However be sure that each child understands that our sin against God is worse than any sin someone has committed against them.

Insights: 

Can you imagine if as parents all the ethics and character we taught our children were rooted in punishment?  "Johnny, you can’t tell lies. If you do, I’ll spank you.”  “Susie, miss curfew and you are grounded.”  While those punishments may not be inappropriate, we certainly want to teach our kids more.  They need to value truth, trustworthiness and responsibility.  And these are grounded in something more than fear. 

In this section of Colossians Paul doesn’t just give some list of dos and don’ts and he doesn’t focus on the terribly punishments we’ll endure if we are disobedient. He grounds his ethic deeply. 

We too need more than the fear of Hell to ground our ethic in.  And Paul gives us the answers.  Our thoughts are exalted because Christ is exalted.  We live because Christ lives, so we can’t live like we used to.  We are chosen, beloved, deeply loved, and so we should be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient. We are forgiven by God and so we must be people who forgive. 

As you have worked your way through these devotionals, I hope you and your kids have been able to set your mind on things above.  

Did you miss one? 

The "Why" Matters, Identity Matters, Compassion Matters, Kindness Matters, Humility Matters, Gentleness Matters, Patience Matters, Bearing with One Another Matters, Forgiveness Matters

Baptism: An Appeal for Mercy

Baptism is one of many Bible topics that suffers from a particular kind of blindness. 

It happens most frequently to important topics.  Once long ago a teacher, an honest and dedicated person, summarized that important topic in one specific way.  He taught that to his followers.  It became a rallying cry, then a way of differentiating themselves from everyone else.  Was the teacher wrong? Not necessarily.  Perhaps not at all.  Yet these pithy ways of explaining complex topics are like a door-one that either opens up clarity into the text or one that closes the door to searching out the Word.     

I want open doors into the Word. I think you do too.  So the only thing is to lay aside what I think I know and go straight to the Bible and ask God some direct questions.  You may be as surprised by the answers as I was. 

Wanted: A Peacemaker

I was all set to write a post on peacemaking.We have been talking a lot about how to be a Christian in our modern world.  There was a post on women's value, another on whether Christians should engage in the swirling debate, and a Biblical rubric for social media.  That's not to mention the posts on fear and tamales. 

 Peacemaking fits right in because more than anything (except Jesus Christ) this country needs a peace maker.  Someone who can bring about reconciliation.  Someone who can lead by example.  Someone who can forgive, whose ego takes a back seat.  Someone who will stand up for God's way but sit down and listen to others' points of view.

But that is not today's post.

Welcome to the Jungle: Righteousness and Social Media

I don't have to tell you that the general trend of conversation on social media has become less civil, do I?  Not just impolite, on both sides of the aisle I have seen Christians carried away into bitter and hateful speech.   Before you ask, there are Christians who vote both Democrat and Republican, not to mention independents like myself.  

Even more recently I have heard people suggest that the answer to the problem is to simply delete our Facebook accounts or to stay out of politics all together.  I sympathize.  On my personal account I have dealt with the vitriol by not responding to other's political posts and posting less and less as the bile grew.  

Then I saw a friend who was hurting; all metaphor aside politics has been giving her a stomach ache.  The word compassion in Greek means "From the gut." She is living it out.  As we chatted,  I realized I was part of the problem.  In my silence, I had let her and others believe that they were alone.

Bouts of Conflict: Jesus our Referee

Conflict. I hate it.  I love peace, and I have been known to try and keep “peace” even when a little honesty and airing of disagreements would have served the relationship far better.  So if there are any of you out there who looked at the very TITLE of the post and didn’t want to read it, trust me, I get it.  

Mirroring the God of Comfort

Last week, we took a look at how God comforts his children, even when they are suffering for their own sin.  The Israelites suffered when the Babylonians took them into exile for forty years, and God gave them words of comfort, even though they were exiled because of their idolatry and materialism.  Christians today suffer for their sins too.  Sometimes we experience the discipline of the Lord or the discipline of His church.  Sometimes we just suffer the natural consequences of our sins. It can be difficult to feel compassion for someone who brings suffering on herself, but if our Father is in the comforting business, we should be too. 

Families are the Best

Family can be the best...

At holding grudges: "Well! I still remember that Thanksgiving when you took off with your boyfriend instead of eating with us!"

At gossip: "I heard that your cousin Michael is out of a job again.  He is going to be the death of your Aunt Susan."

At despair: "I gave up years ago.  You're never going to change.  Why do I even try?"

At blame: "Mom, you're the reason I'm miserable. How was I supposed to learn how to have a happy marriage with you and Dad always yelling at each other?"

At envy: "Don't tell me how to feel!  With your house in the suburbs, dog and 2.5 kids, I don't want to hear it!"

Okay, maybe not the best.  But I bet yours isn't the worst either.  Just look at Joseph for example!   First his mother Rachel was bitterly envious.  She fought a lifelong cold war with her sister Leah with weapons fashioned from the people they loved (Genesis 29-30). Joseph's father, Jacob, whose very name means deceiver, honored him openly as the best-beloved child, setting up the envy and hatred of his brothers that was destined to change the course of his life. (Genesis 35:26, 37:3)

The best of his brothers were Reuben and Judah who decided for their father's sake that Joseph shouldn't DIE while the other eight plotted his death.  Reuben left him in a pit thinking he'd come back later and pick him up before he died of exposure, and Judah came up with the bright idea of selling him instead of committing murder!  These were the best of the lot.  The other eight just wanted the bragging little twerp to die (Genesis 37).

And yet God was working.  He brought Joseph through, despite slavery and a prison stay.  He showed Joseph his favor by using him as a tool to save not only the entire population of Egypt from famine but the children of Israel as well. Then he brought those same brothers back around.

For vengeance, right?  Don't we wonder, when the brothers came begging for grain, why Joseph didn't have them all summarily executed? Surely there's a family member or two you've quietly imagined the wrath of God barreling down upon. No?  Just me? 

No, God brought the brothers back to Joseph so that through his forgiveness, reconciliation, and grace Joseph could become their redeemer.  The lamb saving the wolves from starvation. (Psalms 105) 

It's in our families that we learn service.  It's also in our families that we face our greatest hurts and temptations.  The small and mundane annoyances- toothpaste on the sink, groceries forgotten, the last piece of pie gone from the fridge again, socks on the floor-cause us to explode. The colossal betrayals, the heinous acts, the unforgivable sins-the drugs and alcohol, the adultery, the pornography, the violence- cause our families to implode. Sometimes we are betrayed. Sometimes we are betrayer. 

But whichever side of the dais we stand on, we can find ourselves in Joseph's story.  We are either the brothers hanging our heads in horror, awaiting our punishment for hurting the people we love, or we are Joseph with all the power; will we forgive or will we damn? 

Joseph had received years of God's favor and attention and apparently he learned something important because he forgave.  Can we learn to...

Replace grudges with forgiveness?  Let go of that Thanksgiving dinner 5 years ago, and be grateful for this one.  

Replace gossip with an encouraging phone call to that out of work nephew.  

Replace despair with prayer and hope.  Suddenly we believe not in our loved ones power to change but in the power of the Spirit to change them if they will only submit!  

Replace blame with confession.  Every human being OWNS his own sin.  It does no good to blame the person we learned it from instead of confessing to the God who can redeem us from it.

Replace envy with love.  Love rejoices in the good of the loved one. It refuses to compare our state with theirs.  Real deep honest love would rather they be blessed than we.  

The holidays are coming.  Families are going to be together driving each other nuts.  Old hurts and old hopes are going to collide and tears will be shed.  I hope this year is different for you.  Leave us a comment and tell us how this year can be a Joseph year in your family. 

Helene

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE(R), Copyright(c) 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Sin

Have you thought about the nature of sin?  Not the doctrinal questions of original sin or the nature of our flesh. I mean the simpler question: have you thought on what sin is? Or how we can recognize it?

Graceful Speech: More than "Not Cussing"

When I was in graduate school, my mouth got me into trouble.  We had multiple group projects,  and at times, our professors would choose the groups.  I hated that because there always seemed to be one person in the group that didn't work well with the others. On one particular project, we had what I thought was a great group, except for one guy. He wasn't lazy, and he tried to pull his weight, but he just didn't understand what the rest of us were trying to do in the project.  I'm ashamed to admit that my mouth was a much bigger problem than his misunderstanding.  When our group got together without him, we would all "vent" about it, and I joined right in.  Eventually, as so often happens, word got back to him that people were talking about him.  Not only that, but he knew I was one doing it.  My words were twisted, and he believed I said things I hadn't, but the fact remains that my speech was totally lacking in grace.

The Grace of Forgiveness

Because it was my bright idea to devote a full month to the concept of grace here at Maidservants of Christ, Helene asked me what angle I wanted to take for the month.  If she could have seen me from across the world, she would have witnessed a great "deer in the headlights" look.  I don't know; I just like grace.  It's nice to remember grace amidst our sometimes painful confession filled posts.  Framework?  Um.... I like grace.

Helene was not going to let me get away with weaseling out of a more concrete idea.  "You chose it; you decide how we write about it."  Drat.  So I started a preliminary look at grace as we read about it in the Bible, particularly the New Testament.  I found a lot of verses I memorized as a child about our salvation through grace and how it colors our relationship with God.  That aspect of grace was familiar to me.  

The Jesus I Never Knew

When I read a "Whatsoever" book, a book I intend to contemplate on and learn from, I mark all the places I'd like to go back and read over again.  With my Kindle, this is as easy as tapping the screen to bookmark my favorite passages.  With my (dwindling) supply of paper books, I dog-ear the pages.  When I was in college, I read Phillip Yancey's The Jesus I Never Knew for a Bible class.  I hadn't read it since, but I must have remembered it being a good book because it survived all the book purges in the thirteen years since taking the class.  When Helene and I decided we needed to do a month on following Jesus, I offered to review this little treasure for Whatsoever Wednesday.  Have you ever seen a book where a third of the pages are dog-eared?  It isn't pretty!  

Housekeeping

I have had a housekeeper for years. We could talk about how many more woman-hours it takes to keep my home abroad clean without dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, and a dryer. However, my American house wasn't any cleaner; it was demonstrably worse. My friends like to make excuses for me. They look around and say, "Oh come on, you work," or "You have kids in the house." I do.  But I know the truth.  I need help.

Self-Control

The first time I rammed up against the issue of self-control in my life had everything to do with my husband.  Until then, I thought I had things together.  I was a great student. 

I was a reasonably good daughter.  I had a growing relationship with God, and a lot of the typical issues with self-control that teenagers face had not been a problem.  The child of teetotalers, I not only didn't do drugs; I didn't drink either.  Not even a little.  And I was too socially awkward to be dating.  So, no problem. 

One Really Bad Girl

Do you consider yourself a "good girl?"  You know the type: spent most of high school studying or working in order to spend summers going to church camps and youth group activities.  Helene, Melissa, and I were all that sort of girl.  Although we try to make the blog applicable to all types of women, perhaps we hit this target group more often.  We hope today's post is broader in scope.  Good girls or bad we all have something to learn from Ezekiel's description of Israel as one REALLY bad girl!

Thankful for Christ

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us to all of you.  No Thanksgiving week blog would be complete without an article about being thankful.  I needed a break from Ezekiel and my husband's work recently led him to an interest in the book of Hebrews, so I decided to read the first ten verses of this book over the weekend.   As I read, I was reminded of Christ's superior power, His humanity, and of the salvation found in Him.  All these are things for which we can be eternally grateful.

 

How Will You Be Known?

I have been known as many things in my life.  When I was a child, I was my father's daughter.  As a teenager, I was that bushy haired girl. As a newlywed in my husband's hometown, I was his wife.  Now I am most often known as my kids' mom.  Since I want to be the best wife and mother I can, I don't let it bother me that I lose my identity somewhat in my family.  After all, there are worse things to be known as.  For instance, how would you like to be known as the troublemaker in the church?  The woman whose fight with another woman was known by the whole congregation?

How Being a Christian is Like Running from Zombies

Helene and I know that we very similar.  Somewhat nerdly, clean cut girls who have clean backgrounds (by the world's standards, anyway).  We also know that not all Christians are like us.  There are Christians who love much because they have been forgiven much.  There are Christians who don't read Nazi era theologians.  There are Christians who use the word "boomsauce."  Toni is one such Christian.  We wanted to have guest bloggers on occasion to give a different voice to what is means to be a Christian woman.  Toni's voice is different than ours, but her love for Christ is the same.  She has a blog, Fighting Insanity, that you can read at http://fightinginsanity.wordpress.com/.  I encourage you to read it. She'll make you laugh and think at the same time.  Meanwhile, she has been gracious enough to write this guest post for us. ~Melissa

 

His Soul Was Annoyed to Death

Okay, it's my turn to confess.  I struggle every day with nagging.  I'm a nag.  I'm convinced it is an "oldest daughter" trait.  As the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter of an oldest daughter, I have it bad! (No offense, Mom) When my husband doesn't take the trash out right when I think he should, I can get kind of mean.  The nag he hates the worst is what he calls "go mode."  That would be when I am ready to go before everyone else in the family, and I nag them all to hurry. I know nagging is not appropriate behavior in a wife or mother, and I am trying to get better.  I hope I will never be as guilty as Samson's women.